Time wasters. Oh boy. Is there anything Dommes love to complain about more? Throughout all this redundant bitching of the inevitable, I thought maybe a few of you who are smart enough to read might benefit from a mini tutorial on how to approach a domme online. Not just for her sake, but for your own (unless you have a fetish for being blocked or gaining minimal attention, please disregard.)

Successful Dommes spend a lot of their time making money. Any time spent talking to someone who is not paying them, is time they could have spent getting paid. The guys who approach dommes online who aren't paying immediately, generally fall into consistently reoccurring categories that we deal with over and over and over again;

1. They want to compliment and/or thank you
2. They want to ask you a question that could have been figured out on their own
3. They want permission to buy something that's available online for anyone to purchase
4. They want to chit chat

The problem is, to the individual sub, none of these things seem like that big of a deal. How could sending a quick message to say "thank you," be a big waste of her time? Simple; because it's all cumulative. Were not just dealing with you. We're dealing with incessant numbers of "you." For the Domme sitting online working and signed onto any kind of messenger service, it's a matter of filtering through repetitious number of idiots doing one of the 4 things above. It's never ending. Most Dommes (hell, most people in general) have a very short tolerance for dealing with the same shit. You may "just" be messaging her to ask a quick question, but if you're the millionth person to ask her that question that day, you're already dealing with her at the end of her fuse and may find yourself blocked before you know it.

Do you really want to be lumped together with the vast majority of these fools? Don't you want to make an impression and stick out from the crowd? Here's my advice:

1. Keep compliments/thank you for email. Furthermore, make them interesting. If all you're going to say is "thanks" or "you're amazing," don't bother. We hear that shit all the time and after a while it's just background noise at best, an annoyance at worst. If you want your gratitude to be noticed and appreciated, be detailed and specific as to how the Domme has affected you. Put some time and thought into it and, if you can, mention something especially pathetic or embarrassing that might amuse her as well. EDIT: Actually, I changed my mind. compliments/thank yous are best left in public, such as twitter or the commenting area of a Domme's blog. That way, your positive feedback is seen by others and can serve as promotion for her.

2. Do your fucking homework. If you have a question, there's a huge possibility its already answered on the Domme's website. You know, the one she worked her ass off for so she didn't have to sit around answering the same damn questions over and over again? If you have a question that's not answered on her site, its probably none of your business and/or you're falling into category #4.

3. Don't ask permission for retarded things. My god. If you don't know by now that all we're interested in is your money, then please for the love of god just swallow a bullet right now. We didn't create clips or turn on our phone lines so we can sit around online all day and grant permission to every individual person who wants to purchase it. It's for sale for a reason, and that reason is not to take up even more of our time.

4. Send the domme a small tribute before attempting to chat with her. Yes, you heard right. A small tribute will easily suffice with emphasis put on "before attempting to chat." Don't ask her "how" to tribute, or else you're falling back into the #2 category of reoccurring time wasters. Any Domme smart enough to throw together even the most amateur websites has a tribute area. If you want to stick out from the crowd, it's as simple as tributing without saying a damn word before hand. Why? Because that's so ridiculously rare it's not even funny. Most idiots online can't resist saying *something* before sending a tribute. The problem is the more you talk without paying, the shorter the fuse gets. Or like I said before, if a domme has just dealt with plethora of 1s, 2s, 3s and 4s, you may get blocked just for saying "hello." So, put your best foot (i.e. wallet) forward. If you're serious about serving or getting to know a domme, a mere $20 tribute to chat a bit is not going to break the bank. If it is, then you're not worth her time anyway. But keep in mind a tribute is a tribute; which means nothing should be expected in return for it. It is not a guarantee you'll get a little attention, it just puts you at far greater odds.

Finally,

5. Get to the point. If you have intentions of paying for a service that requires her active attention, for the love of god say so immediately. Again, the more you talk without paying, the shorter the fuse. So don't waste everyone's time with "hello" "how are you?" "Im a big fan" "you're so hot" "I love your clips" until you finally get to "can I buy cam time?" Make your purchasing request the first thing you say and I guarantee you everything will run a lot smoother and better for both parties. I've half-assed plenty of cam shows with guys who tested my patience before hand with idle chit-chat or an ongoing number of questions they could have figured out themselves. Trust me, I will knock your socks off on cam the sooner you pay me and the more humbly you present your fetishes/weaknesses. On the flip side, however, if you ask to buy cam and I say, "no," the sooner you fuck off the better. "No" does not mean "beg," or "annoy me until I say yes." In fact, the more you plead with me to give you what you want after I've explicitly denied it, the more you demonstrated to me that you don't take what I have to say seriously and the sooner you are yet again, blocked.

So that's my advice, for whatever it's worth. I know this entry will hardly put a dent on the number of guys who will continue to waste mine and everyone else's time, and that's fine, the blocked button is not difficult to utilize. But for those who took the time to read this, I promise you can benefit from my advice. If any Dommes would like to add something in addition to this, feel free to comment.