Dear Ceara,
I read your article on Viceland and I think that it’s totally awesome that you can sell so much stuff to losers over the internet. I decided to look around your website, because it’s really interesting and I was super bored last night. It’s pretty funny how you make people pay for the URL to your website, and your IM addresses, when I bet if they googled your name they could find your website which has your IM addresses. I guess pretty much everything about what you do is pretty funny, really. Also, I looked at your amazon wishlist, and you have a great taste in shoes! They’re pretty expensive though, it makes me wonder if some foot fucker would actually pay 350$ just because you’re hot.I was thinking of trying to start doing some stuff like you, but I don’t really know where to get started. I’ve had creepy guys on the internet tell me I’m amazing and great, and once some guy offered to buy me a 30$ set of books, for naked pictures (ew, not gonna happen), but I’ve lost contact with them and don’t really know how to find the really sick, sad kind you get. Don’t worry, I won’t be stealing your customers, as I’m not as pretty or as gutsy as you are. Thanks for reading, hope you reply!With regards,N

Alright, Im kinda hesitant to trash talk this girl because she’s being really nice but emails like this kinda blow my mind. I get ones just like this every once in a while thanks to my vice article. I mean, first of all, how is she not potentially stealing my “customers” if she’s asking where she can find them? Come on now… Second of all, why the f does she need my help getting started when shes surfing my NITEFLIRT page. Helllooo?? Does she really need me to hold her hand through this?