It’s been a couple weeks now since I’ve been back from Europe , I figure I should sit my ass down and write about it.
Barcelona: I need to redo this city sometime. Something about arriving into a muggy foreign country all jetlag, PMSing, and without my luggage for the first 3 days that kind of put a damper on things. Go figure. On the bright side, Antoni Gaudi’s work was worth seeing. Plus there was that exhilarating night we met a pilot from Columbia that fed us copious amounts of tequila until my lips were loose enough to over-share my thoughts on monogamy.
Brussels: Note to self; don’t ever live here lest I ever decide to tap into the BBW market. I’m pretty sure I gained 90% of the weight I accumulated on this trip in this city alone. Chocolate, pomme frites, and waffles all coexisting within a majestic land flowing with wondrous carbonated beverages made of yeast. And let’s not forget the fact that this city’s most famous landmark is the statue of a little boy pissing, followed by the statue of a little girl pissing, which is then followed by the statue of a dog pissing. It was all I could do to keep myself from gathering the towns people to shower upon them my own golden legacy. Brussels, you’re alright with me.
London: So, since I can’t stand the idea of having an actual “vacation,” I was determined to visit London mainly for the fact that I knew a lot of Dommes lived there and figured they might be down to do some content trade. Luckily they were and I had the pleasure of working with Jasmine Jones, Goddess Samantha, and Goddess Penelope. We rented out a rather inexpensive dungeon in the area and busted out some pretty fantastic clips (found here: http://www.clips4sale.com/16312.)
Beside that, I arranged numerous meet ups with various submissive fans interested in handing me a cash tribute in person. Out of all the boners I talked to, one of them actually came through. He was well dressed (just got off work) and had the biggest shit eating grin on his face when he handed the £300 over to my greedy, well manicured hands. I let him gush for a short while as he told me what a big fan he was of my death-themed clips, particularly “Die For Me” and “Kill Your Parents.” I encouraged him to follow through with his desires and not let a silly thing like a “disclaimer” get in the way. Hopefully someday I’ll read his name in the newspaper.
Paris: Dirty, crowded, and over priced. Glad we didn’t stay any longer here than we did. The highlight by far was meeting up with Bratty Bunny and my homegirl Lyne while she was enjoying her honeymoon.
Amsterdam: By far my favorite city. Dutch people have it made. Charming canals, easy sex, and “coffee” shops at every corner. I met up with Bratty Bunny again here too. We spent an eventful evening touring the red light district where we waved enthusiastically at every prostitute we passed by. Our boys had their fill checking out the talent, but I’d say the real show was watching various johns stumbling about with their faces more rouge than the rooms they walked into. I’m still bummed we didn’t stay longer here. Bunny and her boyfriend ended up going to a live sex show the day we left and made a point to rub it in my face by sending me a picture of their tickets. My boyfriend reminded me that live sex shows aren’t exactly a foreign concept in Portland. But c’mon. Who wants to see locals have sex?
Berlin: Cool graffiti. That was about it. I feel like I should have more to say about this city considering the inhuman way in which many of my friends nearly lose their eyeballs from their very skull at the mere mention of the place… but, it was the tail end of my trip and maybe didn’t care enough to see what it was all about.
I gotta say, theres nothing like a 3 full weeks of fermenting in Euro trash to make me appreciate my lovely, green, english-speaking home in the Northwest. I can’t wait until next week when I goto Tampa and I can look forward to coming home even more.