My birthday is fast approaching. I’ll be turning another year older this Monday, July 22nd. I can’t believe that I’m happy to say I’ll be spending it in Vegas. Normally that’d be the last place I’d want to be in the middle of the Summer (or pretty much any other time of year) but since I’ll be spending with with some of my favorite people (Domina Snow, Mistress T, Rene, Meggerz, & Mandy Flores) with a strict rule against any kind of working, I’m looking forward to it.

I have somewhat of a history of buying myself extravagant gifts for my birthday; one year I bought my 27″ iMac desktop, another year I bought a modest house.. This year I’ll be repeating myself and buying yet another house. I decided this somewhat impulsively when the reality of all the remodeling work I pictured myself doing on my current home proved to be too stressful and daunting. After a few weeks of shopping in a newly competitive market, I’m now locked in to close on a lovely mid century ranch style home that’s over 3000 sqr ft, 4 bed/2 bath, large yard, big fireplace, a deck, hot tub, and wet bar. I am beyond elated.

Since many of you who are reading this right now are at least partially responsible for making this purchase possible out of purely superficial and shallow admiration, I invite you to extend that generosity with a birthday giftcard from West Elm. Any giftcard over $25 will receive exclusive images from my birthday vacation in Vegas, just be sure to email me so I know: contact@cearalynch.com

A shot of me signing the papers for my current home 2 years ago. As you can see it was a foggy day.

Let’s all give a round of applause to this guy who came up with the most horrifying idea ever to grace my inbox:

I’m always impressed by a perverse mind that can provoke me to make a facial expression that looks like I just saw my dad blowing an elephant. Funny how quickly the shock wears off and I begin to think about how I can capitalize on it. In VIDEO form, of course. Having a baby is not something that appeals to me at this stage in my life. Having a baby with a “random slave” is enough to make me vomit out my ears. Besides, in a very real way, I already have a few babies:

Baby Katy-steph. I don’t really see this one too often. I’m also not too impressed with his commitment to babyhood. Every time I’ve watched him on cam (aka the baby monitor) he’s usually just wearing a bib and a pacifier. So half assed. I can always count on him to crawl out of the woodworks whenever I make an adult-baby clip. Which isn’t too often.

Baby Nate, I’ve known this baby for years! Since I started playing bitch on the internet, really. I just talked to him the other day for the first time in a while. The only thing that’s changed with him is his diapers (zing!) Still a scrawny loser sissy who showers me with fan-girl like praise and compliments.

Baby diaper boy! This baby doesn’t fuck around when it comes to infancy. He’s got a fully decked out nursery complete with crib, mobile, stuffed animals, plastic sheets, and a closet full of diapers, bibs and bonnets. He regularly pays for 1 hour+ of baby monitoring at a time as he jerks his unusually large cock with baby oil while making weird gurgling noises. Best baby ever!