I had a recent conversation on niteflirt with a guy named Shane who had cuckolding fantasies. He told me about his girlfriend, Kim, who dumped him for another man and how often he thought about them having sex. His voice was slightly effeminate and kind.
I told him to look at my picture as he talked to me and then began describing what were undoubtedly both his fears and arousals: Kim’s new boyfriend was bigger than him, more skilled sexually, more confident, more masculine, et cetera. I described a scenario where he was locked in a small cage in a room, chained from the inside, his small swollen cock locked in chastity. He’d been in there for hours before Kim walks in with her lover.
Shane’s heart skips a beat as sweat drips from his temples. The two of them are drunk on lust as they start to tear off their clothes right there in front of him; like he’s not even there. They are completely fixated on each other. Shane watches in shame as Kim looks at her lover in a way that she’s never looked at him. In a way that no woman ever will. Shane is just another living example of the inadequacy so many women waste their time with before they learn better.
Her lover bends her over on top of the cage, her face is now inches away from his, staring directly at him for the first time. Her face looks sweet, but unsympathetic. She resents him. Every day that she remained faithful to him was a day she missed out on earth-shattering sexual pleasure. Shane spent much of their relationship in fear of her discovering how much better she could have it. Now she knows and she’ll never go back.
Her lover slides his engorged cock into her dripping pussy and her eyes roll in the back of her head as she loses herself. Once again, Shane is invisible. Her genuine (and therefor unfamiliar) moans pierce his ears as her cum splashes and glistens against the bars of the cage.
“She’s punishing you, Shane” I tell him. “Just like your punishing yourself right now; paying me $4/min to tell you all of this.”
Shane’s sighs. His voice has changed to a meek whimper. His heart sounds heavy as he cums.
La petite mort.
He takes only a moment to recover until his normal voice returns. The realities of the fantasy both fuel a powerful orgasm and leave a lingering sadness afterwards. He is eager to talk his way out of it. “After care” as they call it in BDSM circles. It’s not my strong suite. But Shane takes the lead by shifting the attention onto me.
“Do you really get off on this or is it just for the money?” He asks.
Ah, this question.
It would be foolish not to acknowledge that there’s an element of fantasy in all forms of sex work. Women get paid to reflect back the thoughts of their customers and most adopt the strategy of sticking to that fantasy 100% so long as they’re on the clock. I feel a little conflicted about this at times. On the one hand, I’m sure it’s the most lucrative way to go. On the other, I think it can do a disservice by confusing some of men of the reality of women and their sexualities (as if they weren’t confused enough.)
“Do you really want to know the answer to that?” I ask him in a voice completely void of sensuality.
“Yes, I really do.” He says sincerely.
For better or worse, I tell him the truth.
“I do it for the money.”
I figure he already spooged, so I may as well.
But Shane can’t accept this answer. To him, I’m simply “too good” to do it “just” for money. The knowledge and skill it took for me to cut right to the core of his darkest fantasies could only come from someone who shared similar thoughts and desires.. right?
I hesitate to admit this because it’s a buzzkil, but here it goes:
I have no intrinsic desire to tell a perfectly nice guy that no woman wants to fuck him, tear open his heart, pour salt in his wounds, strike every nerve I can find and then demand that he cums.
I do it because I get paid. A lot.
Further more, I have no intrinsic desire to let my feet get smelly and rub in on someone’s face.. or use their mouth as a toilet.. or shrink them down to the size of an ant and eat them.. or turn a straight guy bi.. or make them cum on a shoe and then lick it off.. or whatever other crazy ass shit some men are too scared to admit to their wives.
I could never have come up with any of it on my own. But yes, I’ve have a pretty good handle on how to talk to guys who like these sorts of things because I’ve been talking to them for a long time.
Over the years I’ve taken thousands of phone calls from guys like Shane and done even more cam sessions. Of the thousands of videos I’ve created roughly half are from custom requests coming from overly detailed emails about what the client beats off to. When I’m not getting paid to listen to (and make something of) these fantasies, guys bombarde me with them anyway. For nothing. Simply out of desperate hope that I’ll acknowledge them in some way.
If there’s one thing I know about men, it’s that they love to tell beautiful women of little consequence their darkest fantasies.
It’s one of the greatest things about this line of work: there’s an abundance of free knowledge and training. All you have to do is appear to be female on the internet and you’ll have no shortage of guys telling you what makes them tick. Tweak your image to appear dominant, say you specialize in fetishes, and the messages you get will get weirder and a little more complex, but not without predictable patterns that can be learned over time. Before you know it, customers think you’re a fucking mind reader.
That’s the irony of being a good domme: the good ones listen and do what they’re told.
Shane conceded my point, but still couldn’t believe I didn’t derive some pleasure from it. How else could I possibly be drawn to this type of work?
I actually do take pleasure from my work. It’s just not the same type of pleasure my customers get from it. This seems to be a hard idea for some guys to wrap their head around. Once they hear a woman use the word “work” or “job” in conjunction with sexual services, it’s assumed that she must hate it.
I don’t hate my job. I love it. I have a lot of reasons to; the most obvious being the substantial amount of money I make. It’s afforded me advantages most people spend their entire lives earning. On top of that, I work for myself which means I don’t have report to anyone. I work when I want for however long I want. My time is my own.
My job is also fun. It allows me to be creative and work with some of the most private and uniquely intimate desires of men who otherwise keep them hidden and diligently guarded. It’s special and fascinating.
A lot of people enter the adult industry thinking what a dream it must be to get paid to do what they’d be doing anyway. I can’t speak for anyone else (I’m sure that works out for some) but it would have never worked for me. I feel better off keeping my sexuality for myself. Recreational sex looks a lot different from porn sex so to monetize my sexuality would mean to lose a part of it in favor of my audience and my income. That sacrifice is too great. I prefer to monetize yours.
When I was young and first called phone sex lines I was amazed at just how the women knew what I wanted to hear.
The fantasies they would construct seemed to mirror the ones floating around in my own head so closely that I, too, thought they must be mind readers.
I really thought my fantasies were so fucked up that I must be the only one thinking this shit. Feet stink, no sane person could get turned on by the smell.
How could any man fantasize about licking another mans cum from a womans vagina?
Thats so fucked up I don’t even know how to classify it, it’s sure as hell not straight and it not even really gay since a woman is involved.
On rare occasions when I’d talk to a girlfriend about my fantasies it never ended well. If I really did love her how on earth could I even think about her with another man let alone be excited by it?
Once the internet came along it soon became obvious to me that these fucked up fantasies I’d had since I was a kid were not just comment but downright routine for phone sex operators. Most of the Bible is crap but I do like Ecclesiastes 1 verses 9 & 10
What has been is what will be,
and what has been done is what will be done,
and there is nothing new under the sun.
Is there a thing of which it is said,
“See, this is new”?
It has been already in the ages before us.
So it no longer comes as a surprise to me that a woman with experience can nail down my run of the mill, cuckold, footboy, cock-sucking fantasies quickly without being “Into” them herself.
Fantastic new blog princess!
i love your unique style to say the true and be really humiliating and exiting in a preplex form of mind fucking.. or maybe i fantasize
that’s such a good story, thanks for sharing.
was Kim’s lover a big black bull?
if it is, he’s a lucky hubby! 😉
Brutally honest post. I was sure you loved being dominate, enjoyed the power your amazing beauty gave you to humiliate and dominate men in so many ways. Now knowing you get no satisfaction or enjoyment using you power to enslave men it is not quite the same. The evil, power wielding, sadistic princess you so convincingly portray is just a everyday girl who enjoys it for the money. Will I continue to buy your clips? Of coarse, they are amazing but it won’t be the same.
Thank You for your honest, very rare today.
The best part of this comment is that afterwards you resubscribed to my site, bought two items off my wish list and sent an email begging to pay me $600 for some new custom videos.
Even better than that, telling you no.
What is especially troubling is why some (most?) men confuse this business arrangement with an actual Dominatrix/submissive relationship.
These men (and there are hordes upon hordes) don’t realize that in order to get into a real relationship like that, it takes more work than just sending money online to a “Domme”. They actually have to go to a BDSM “dating” site (Fetlife?) or go out and find a BDSM meet and greet.
i have noticed that this is at least the second time You have pointed out the fact that You are not a real Dominatrix. You pretend to be for monetary gain (and there’s nothing wrong with that). What i am curious about, though, is where the line is drawn? Clearly You do not have any sort of disclaimer on Your website that says You will never meet in person with the potential to form any kind of lasting, intimate relationship with a sub.
Is it the responsibility of the customer to figure out what You are not? Clearly the grey area here is large indeed. Your online presence suggests You are a Dominatrix. Yet in reality You are not. Would Your business ultimately suffer if You posted a disclaimer on all Your social media profiles, as well as Your income-generating sites? One of the comments here says “It’s just not the same anymore”.
I’m not sure what kind of disclaimer you think I should have. I make no claims about a willingness to meet or establish any kind of “lasting, intimate relationship.” I make fetish videos and do cam shows. That seems pretty clear to the vast majority of my customers who cum and go. The few that try to press for something more are quickly turned down.
In regard to whether or not admissions like this would effect my income: see my reply to the comment you just referenced.
Lol, point taken.
I will always love the girl in the videos for the sincere traits you project – your intelligence, confidence, wit and sexiness. I could get off on any bimbo who tells me what I want to hear (and I often do), but I love you, Ceara, because you you’re the best at what you do and you work hard at it. I’ll never be able to get enough. 🙂
Thanks for the interesting post. First, that little snippet of fiction was very good. I’d buy a book about Shane and Kim if that’s the excerpt.
Second, I think it’s a silly idea that you should worry about misleading anyone about your personal life or preferences. Seems to me that you’re a writer/actor. Movies and tv shows don’t have disclaimers warning that the actors’ portrayals don’t reflect their personal lives, because no one is confused about that. Guys who want to pretend that you’re personally hot over everything in the videos are taking a clear “flight of fancy,” and it’s not your problem.
For the same reasons, I really don’t think an honest post about your approach to your work takes anything off the heat of your videos, which are incredible.
I think guess some guys will always try manipulation. “You *must* be more dominant in exactly the way I want you to be. Aren’t you? Are you sure? Oh, come on, move your boundaries to give me a little more fantasy.” Sad thing is if such dumb-asses could appreciate your intellect enough to know better, they’d think you’re even hotter.
All characters appearing in this work are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
(No, and nothing like this perhaps, Harry?)
BTW no-one has mentioned how clever the title is, so I will. It’s really clever, and subtly so.
I enjoyed this a lot. Very well-written. Thanks for sharing.
It’s clear, like a therapist, you’ve learned to delve into the world of your customer without getting lost yourself. Is that always the case? Do Dommes as a community have unspoken rules about what it is to be a lifestylist versus a professional?
I was initially drawn to your videos because you are such a good actress. The videos would be on free sites for a while before being removed and I got hooked on you… even if you were playing out something that wasn’t my fetish I would be compelled to watch simply because it was such a good performance–and you were truly playing to your audience. Then I eventually discovered videos where your scenarios were very erotic to me… and fetishes that I could relate to–so it became a combination of watching a very talented actress in a role that was extremely arousing to me. I’m sure many of your subscribers would say the same thing…
Hello Goddess Ceara.
Before i saw one of your video for the first time, i was always sad because i was rejected by girls. My heart has been broken so many times. I was already into fetishes, but not as much as today. And then, i found your kinkbomb store, i bought a video, and two, and three… It was 3 years ago. Now i have something like a hundred videos of you. Yes, i am trapped. Because of you, i am now totally into femdom, and i don’t even want to have a girlfriend. I prefer jerk off on your videos. And it might seem strange for a lot of people, but i am not sad anymore, thanks to you. You made me happy by humiliating me. I have never been one of your real slaves, but i had the chance to cam with you twice and you told me things i will never forget. One of the things i love so much about you is your sincerity, through your blog. I don’t care why you’re doing this “job”, you are so good at it. Even if you’re not the same person in your life, you perfectly know how to talk to us, what make us weak. You have changed my life in a better way, because i am a happier person now. And i know i am not the only one. I hope you know that. I thank you not only for your videos and everything, but also for what you bring in my life everyday. And this has no price. Thank you Goddess Ceara for everything.