Back from hiatus

Greetings fags! No I haven’t disappeared, although you’d think I had by the way you losers bitch and moan whenever I neglect you. Tough it up, queers! And not that it’s any of your business but March has been a very stress-filled month for me. I just moved into a new, bigger, more beautiful apartment. I’m still settling a bit, there’s still a few boxes waiting to be unpacked and I need new furniture to fill up all this new space (AHEM).. Also I finished my finals yesterday so I’m officially on Spring break! Lucky for me, all my classes arranged the finals on the same day so I have an extra half week to do whatever the fuck I want. As it should be, right?

Anyway, in other news, a couple new losers from my not-to-distant past came crawling back recently. It’s sooo funny how these dorks try to escape me, but they can’t help but continue to lurk: check my blog for updates, drool at the pictures on my website, think of me obsessively at night while begging their ugly prudish wives for a little pussy.

One idiot who came back was none other than the incredibly dim-witted, obnoxiously eager CUM BUBBLE!! Check this past entry for a little history on this retard:

cum bubble is one of those tards who struggles between his meaningless vanilla life and his pathetic urges to worship a girl on the internet who hates him. I must admit I was surprised to see him come back but not so much surprised to see him run away again soon after. Here’s his goodbye email:

Dear Ceara,

I didn’t want to just disappear without saying good-bye. For me the addictive aspect of this is being like a yo-yo, a cycle of quitting, then giving into the temptation, and flip flopping back and forth a million times, without any consistency. Either I need to be stop for good or live the lifestyle in an open honest way just like you do, but being split in half is no good for me or any one I involve in my pathetic addiction. I admire you directness, frankness, and courage as well as your intelligence and beauty. I am sure you do have and will continue to have much better people to deal with and interact with than me. Best of luck to you in finishing college. May you lead a long and prosperous life.


Hahaha long and prosperous life… what a fucking nerd.

So, I still managed to milk about $400 in gift cards during his brief return. Not only that, but apparently the little moron seems to think he’s some kind of musician and composed 3 songs in my honor. All three are rough, terrible and incomplete. If theres one thing cum bubble can do really well is fail to follow through with his promises. So he would begin to compose a song about me, spooge, come back to reality and freak out over his never ending degradation as a human being and delete the song to try and redeem part of his dignity. HAHAHAHA, I assume even he knew himself well enough to predict this which is why he’d always send me whatever he managed to put together before getting rid of it all vowing never to return to the sick, twisted and oh-so tempting world of Ceara Lynch.

Here’s the songs in all their shitty glory:

cum bubble, I know youre reading this. and I have some plans for you for when you decide to come crawling back once again. But dont even THINK about contacting me unless you have $100 ready to tribute for your reoccurring failures.

Okay enough about that retard… in better news dweebishswedish is back!! This little obedient puppy finally came to his senses and decided to give his life meaning again by sending me every cent of what little money he had. he paid a lovely $400 to return to my stable and begged his parents for $200 to send for going out of town so soon after his return. AND he bought me a brand new pretty pink Nintendo DS! Losers take note, I have LOTS of black mail photos of this dork. I could expose him and crush him at anytime. As many of you know I like to do those sort of things for fun because driving so-called men to the brink of insanity makes for a great hobby. HOWEVER, I spare dweebishswedish because his one and ONLY goal in life is to keep ME happy! Many of you dorks claim to meet these standards but always fall short, which is why you will always get fucked over. Of course dweebishswedish could always fuck up and be driven into toward paco-esque meltdown, but I personally dont see that happening. Kudos to you, retard!