Sometimes…well no…quite often, I just have to step back from myself and truly appreciate how ridiculous my life is. I make a living off of being a false idol and depicting heinous and serious crimes by merely talking to a camera in skimpy outfits. I enrage a sense of justice to those who believe everything they read on the internet and inspire worship and awe to those who believe everything they read on the internet when they’re horny. I take what I do seriously, but at the same time, not at all.

That said, I give you anal warts permission to jack off to this, free of charge: