A recent email I received:
To Ceara Lynch,
I’ve been discovering that masturbation and unhealthy sexual thoughts, actions and tastes are detrimental to the human condition. For years I’ve watched pornography and even some of yours which is what has led me to write this email to you. Because I think you are a beautiful woman that clearly has the ability to influence men and women, I was wondering why you choose to do it from a darker angle.
I feel as if you could have a positive influence on this world, perhaps even the fact that you are aiding the unhealthy sexual appetites of men who are clearly psychologically broken you are making for a more fucked up world.
While i understand for certain individuals it may be hard to argue with material possessions or an easier lifestyle wherein much is given to them for their physical attributes and ability to manipulate. One might find it more rewarding to instead of manipulate these individuals help them to work through their problems. I’m not trying to change who you are as a person or put my beliefs upon you, but simply see a great amount of potential within you to help with the suffering in this world.
All the best within your travels on this planet
Can you provide me with peer reviewed evidence that masturbation and atypical sexual thoughts have a detrimental effect on the “human condition?”
No one asks for their fetishes. They are created by our minds without our permission and without a “cure.” My customers are often burdened with these thoughts because people like you tell them they “psychologically broken” for having them. That’s ridiculous. They are just thoughts that fuel sexual release. Not problems.
I chose this “darker” angle because I find it fascinating. I’m sex positive and I think the diversity of sexuality and kinks that exist in humans (especially men) is extraordinary. I believe it should be recognized, represented and appreciated. Believe it or not, I find what I do very rewarding. Not only for the material compensation I receive, but because I find it gratifying to create a unique and much needed outlet for men who would otherwise struggle without it.
Good Morning Ceara,
I think that child psychologists would agree that a lot of fetishes are a result of early childhood development, not simply the wiring in our heads but rather the wiring that takes place as we grow. The situations concerning the child and his/her development at this stage are far beyond it’s control and much of his or her development lies in the hands of its parents and siblings and whoever else might surround the child at this age. With that being said its possible that the feelings of love for a sibling or parent could be mixed with being teased, tortured or subjected to various forms of punishment, pain, or humiliations.
In terms of being “broken”, I simply meant that by acting upon their fetishes which are unhealthy in terms of what would best suit an upright, productive, mentally hygienic human being, they are doing a disservice to their ability to think. When dealing with such subjects often there arises the importance of differentiating repression from sublimation. Repression is telling yourself that this does not arouse you and because of who you are it shouldn’t. Sublimation is acknowledging the physical attraction but understanding within yourself that to feed the flame would be counterproductive and it would be best to utilize the energy elsewhere. It also means that you should rise above your animalistic tendencies so you can treat every human being with respect and compassion instead of looking to sniff the next buttocks or get into the next vagina.
If someone was abused at a young age where they were forced to sniff butts, lick feet, and had their genitals abused by an older woman or any woman or man for that matter, and grew a fascination into these areas, I would imagine that 1.They would have a very hard time being taken serious by anyone who knew of these fetishes. 2. They would have an even harder time finding a suitable mate 3. If they indulged in these areas as if healthy it would be possible to transfer such character traits to their children (slaves breeding slaves) or worse yet subject their progeny to a tyrant of a wife or husband.
It would be probable that if any man or woman found their child masturbating to woman’s feet or the prospect of being humiliated they would understand that sex being the primary drive for man in life he would identify more with mean spirited domineering women and that would probably not be what they want for their child.
While i understand that the human brain has a darker side, and its impossible to ignore. I do understand that projecting further sexual immorality, violence, and anything that is against the productivity and advance of the human species as a whole is wrong. I know this because I’m considering studying film production, but I notice the effects that many films, televisions programs, and music have in terms of social engineering.
There have been studies to monitor the hormonal balance of the male during, before, and after ejaculation. When he ejaculates his testosterone levels decrease to base levels, and it takes about 7 days for them to return to their height. If a man is masturbating everyday he isn’t at his prime hormonally, and could be doing his body harm because of the vital importance of semen to the male body (the ancients knew much about this)
( I make these assertions to child development because I often ask myself would I want this for a child (any child), if my answer is no, then it shouldn’t be right for me)
I could go more into things if you are interested, I hope you have a wonderful day.
I absolutely agree that most fetishes are the result of early childhood experiences. That doesn’t dismiss the fact that our brains process these experiences in ways we cannot control. I also agree that some people derive erotic pleasure from actions that are similar to that of early childhood abuse. I personally cannot think of an any more empowering way for our brain to process something so tragic than to turn it into something we find arousing. Its turning lemons into lemonade. Again, the problem arises when society tells us there’s something wrong with it. There’s nothing wrong with having an orgasm no matter what is going through your mind when you have it. It doesnt hurt anyone.
I think you under estimate the power of fetishes when you bring up sublimation. Fetishes are not something you can just dismiss by reading a book or volunteering. For men especially, it is hard wired in our brains. Whether youre pretending they dont exist or acknowledging they exist but attempting to replace them with something else, you ARE repressing them. You’re putting a lid on a boiling pot that will surely erupt over time. The best course of action is to deal with them in a healthy way that does no harm to anyone. Sitting at home jacking off to my videos seems like a perfectly reasonable solution.
As far as kinky people having a hard time finding a mate or people to understand them, yes, I agree. There’s also a lot of gay people in rural areas that have the same problem. That’s just another example about how repressed and narrow minded our culture is about sexuality. When one is ostracized by their culture for an aspect about themselves they cannot control, it’s society that needs to change, not the individual.
As far as passing along these “traits” to one’s child or marrying into an abusive relationship; that’s an issue of compartmentalization, not kinkiness. Having atypical sexual interests doesn’t mean you’ve lost all sense of boundaries in the same way having vanilla sexual interest doesn’t mean you automatically have them. You can be a submissive in bed without being a submissive in life. Same with being a dominant.
I find it interesting you bring up the topic of testosterone and masturbation. Obviously your issue here goes beyond atypical sexual interest, to the orgasm itself. I don’t know that we’ll ever find any common ground here if you think orgasms alone are harmful to the individual and society, but you should realize your assertion that “ancients” were savvy to this does not lend credibility to your argument when any modern physician or scientist will tell you masturbation is harmless so long as you’re not doing it to the extent that you’re neglecting your other obligations in life. Most men in this world have no problem going to work, paying their taxes, and being a good husband and father despite taking 5 minutes out of their day to tug one out. Testosterone levels change for all sorts of reasons, and men with too much testosterone are more likely to commit violent and sexual crimes. I’m having a hard time understanding how lowering them temporarily in perfectly normal, natural, and pleasurable ways is harmful to anyone.
I understand exactly where you are coming from, however in terms of the health benefits or repercussions to masturbation you are only referring to western medical science. Eastern practices would say that you would lose your jing or chi or qi whenever you spill your semen “a la Samson and Delilah”. When you say that you could read a book or do volunteer work instead of masturbate, I’m sure that for some people that might stimulate them much more, and be more rewarding? most definitely!
The validity of the reports that come from media endorsed publications I’m sceptical of (which in accordance to your stance against mine perhaps you view eastern science the same). Without a doubt It’s in plain sight that the marketers of food, clothing, vehicles, and lifestyle in general are not in business for the general wellbeing of the populous, but to line their stinky pockets by any means necessary.
I understand that we are much a product of our environment, the homosexuals might perfectly do well in this world if their love did not escalate to anal or oral penetration using the device created for procreation and urination. I think that same sex relationships are important to this world and think the sexual energies could be sublimated into something much greater than the splurge. Love doesn’t equate to sex, Its the union of two people coming together in divinity of the soul (which you could argue). Lust is much different from love, and lust in my opinion is the cause of much turmoil in this world.
Its been well documented that there are many individuals who lived chaste lifestyles and went on to be some of the most influential people of the world (and some tyrants too). Salvador Dali said that the most wonderful paintings and dreams he had came to him during bouts of chastity.
I do see where you are coming from in terms of stimulating the wiring, but I still don’t see it as a healthy way for release. I’ve heard that even the brain can be rewired with work. Maybe the happiness of a healthy lifestyle and healthy relationships would mean more than a quick squirt into a sock and then the prolactin and cortisol increase and then the possibility of an addiction to the whole process.
I consider the gifts and talents which I posses a blessing, and I should use them to aid where I can instead of perpetuate the problems that are all to common. A wonderful body and face could only be made complete with a beautiful heart and good conduct.
I wish you the best
We clearly have very different methods of finding truth. But I find it interesting you used the word “skeptical.” Are you familiar with the basic premise of skepticism? Quite simply, it’s aligning your beliefs based on evidence (as defined by science.) As far as I can tell “chi” has zero credibility in the scientific community. Although I’m open to any evidence you might have on the contrary, especially in regard to how it relates to masturbation.
Further more, I’d love to see any evidence you might have to back up your claims about masturbation and lust being harmful in any serious regard. So far you’ve just told me what you “believe,” “think,” or “heard.”
A small handful of influential people who avoided sex does nothing to back up your claim. There is no direct causal link to their accomplishments and their avoidance of sex. It also does nothing to dismiss the vast majority of influential people who no doubt indulged their sexual interests as much as the rest of us
You seem to be under the impression that masturbation/lust and doing anything productive or worthwhile is somehow mutually exclusive. People read books and masturbate. People volunteer and masturbate. People have healthy loving relationships and masturbate. One does not replace the other because they satisfy completely different needs. That’s like chewing a piece of gum when you need a drink of water.
Again, if you have any evidence of the contrary, I’d be very interested to see it.
I can speak from experience (while it may not be documented in a scientific journal, for me self realization is of the utmost importance) that unhealthy sexual thoughts (which if you were to speak to a psychiatrist I’m sure that they could tell you that there are unhealthy sexual thoughts) are detrimental to the human condition.
Some scholars believe that the symbolism of the sphinx was man or woman with its head sitting at the top of the animal body to symbolise man overcoming his animalistic natures and rising above them. Perhaps if we were more inclined to a healthy attitude towards sex and kept it in the upmost reverence we would be building pyramids again.
While you might find it fascinating exploring the sexual drives of man, it’s probable that you and I have completely different outlooks on how to treat other people. With the understanding that it is essential to take the plank out of your own eye, and that you can not tell other people how to live or behave, I hope this conversation stimulated something within you. I did consider much of what you wrote to me, but deep down inside we all know what is right and what is wrong (perhaps that is wired into us as well though) and I still stick with my stance that to elevate your fellow man instead of keeping them at their base is a virtue, and that if more people possessed these traits, the world would be a more harmonious place.
The universe works in mysterious ways, the power of the pen is mightier than the sword, but the power of the woman is right up there in the same category.
All the best to you
Your personal experience is anecdotal evidence which is simply not enough to warrant belief when you consider the population at large. I’m sure it’s important to you since it’s your life and you need to do what works for you. But when you are making universal claims that include everyone else such as “masturbation and lust are detrimental to the human condition” you better have substantial evidence to back that up. As Carl Sagan said, “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.” So far you’ve presented nothing but your own personal feelings on the matter. Sorry to say you really haven’t given me anything to think about. Deep down, I really do believe there is absolutely nothing wrong with what I’m doing.