$10k Wallet Rape

Forgive me for neglecting you, oh sweetest of blogs.

It’s especially sad because I really do have a lot worth mentioning. I may just go ahead and start with the latest and go backwards from there. That two week long trip to LA warrants multiple posts. Let’s just say for now it’s good to be home.

Last week I was approached on skype by a sub (we’ll call him “Dylan.”) that I hadn’t talk to in quite sometime. Back when I was just a baby findom, Monique and I got him drunk and tag teamed his credit card. He was hit or miss. When he spent he spent big, but occasionally backed out and canceled orders. Its moments like that that have all but completely ruined the notion of a good ole fashion wallet rape. I don’t bother with guys who want to send me their cc#. It’s too easy to cum, regret, and then claim fraud. These days I always, always, always insist subs put on their big boy pants and send me a payment up front by themselves if they wanna play pretend financial exploitation. More often that not that doesn’t happen. I wonder why…

Fortunately, Dylan put out: $300 for cam to discuss the idea of me taking over his Saks account with another Domme, particularly Bratty Nikki. Like the jaded femdom entertainment service provider that I am, I assumed nothing he said was sincere, but when along with it anyway. Nikki was logged on too so I made sure he paid her upfront and then we joined in a group chat. Dylan made two Saks accounts with two different credit cards and handed over the login info which we promptly locked him out of and began shopping. All the while Nikki and I gossiped privately about our history with him and whether or not we thought he was legit this time.

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Now, I love designer clothes and accessories as much as the next greedy bitch, but Im also rather practical and can never justify spending my own money on it (I’d much rather have a house and an obscenely large savings account then a collection of Prada handbags) Since online shopping via honest wallet raping is a rarity these days, I don’t often indulge in this sort of thing. So given this opportunity, I slid on the biggest electronic strap on I had and immediately began penetrating his financial hole vigorously sans lube: Gucci, Burberry, Christian Louboutin, Alexander McQueen, Gold & Diamonds. These are the things girlie wet dreams are made out of.

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Nikki and I teased Dylan about relinquishing so much control as he sat there looking like he just took 5 hits of ecstasy. He wanted to make sure he was
“forced” to stick with his purchases, so he gave me his mom’s phone number. I called and confirmed it on speaker phone by asking her for Dylan’s personal number. Meanwhile Nikki recorded him saying his full name, what he was doing and that he loved it. We hid no purchase from him and he didn’t protest once. 2 hours and $10,000 later, his credit cards were maxed out. We were done with him.

Nikki being the pro that she is, got express shipping, so her stuff arrived much sooner than mine. I just got the first half of my haul today, expecting the rest tomorrow.

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$5000 worth of new shoes and sunglasses for Nikki.

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Over $1500 worth of jewelry, $300 sun glasses, $700 trench coat + more to come. I can’t even be bothered to arrange my shit all nicely like Nikki. Whatever. Eat me.

I must admit this was a high I haven’t felt in sometime. I forgot how fucking fantastic it feels to shop for so much frivolous shit I wouldn’t otherwise buy some else’s dime. It’s like 20 christmases just exploded all over my face. I am elated.

For those of you wondering, Dylan has canceled his credit cards, gone into hiding and I don’t expect to hear from him for at least another year. I pretty much expect to forget his existence within the next couple days.

63 thoughts on “$10k Wallet Rape

  1. Anodyne

    I’m really confused by the part about the mother. Did you actually tell her what was going on? How did you get her to cooperate?

    By the way, I applaud your frugality in selecting standard shipping. No need to run up a bill.

    1. cearalynch

      Of course I didn’t tell her what was going on. I simply called and asked her for his number.

      I didn’t select standard shipping to be frugal, I just didn’t select shipping at all.

      1. Anodyne

        So some strange female calls her up and asks for her son’s number, and she just gives it up? And how did you explain knowing the mother’s number in the first place? She didn’t ask?

        Sorry, I’m sure I’m overthinking this, but the process is just kind of morbidly fascinating.

          1. Tony

            “Hi I’m looking for Dylan. Is this the right number?” could be for anything doesn’t mean hi i’m looking to get off with dylan

  2. Charlie

    I question the ethics of this. As a professional, I’m sure consent is extremely important to you. I don’t think Dylan here is really capable of consenting for his actions. Yes, he’s an adult, but I’m honestly concerned about his mental facilities. Say a guy skypes you and says that he wants you to watch him castrate himself. Now, you’re obviously not going to do it. You’re going to encourage him to seek professional help. Because if you’re so fucked in the head that you decide you actually want to follow up on a castration fantasy, you need to see a therapist, not a domme.
    I posit that the same is true of this extreme financial domination. While I understand it must be extraordinarily satisfying and tempting to milk this guy for all he’s worth, the fact is that you’re taking advantage of someone who is mentally incompetent, and while there’s no law against it, I just don’t see how it’s ethical. I believe that femdom is a perfectly legitimate way to earn a living, and anyone who disagrees should stop living in the 19th century. But I can’t stand by this. It’s cruel and awful, and not at all in a sexy way. It’s ugly.
    I conclude with an invitation for you to tell me why I’m wrong, because I would love to hear a convincing justification for your actions.

    1. cearalynch

      You’re going to have to come up with a better analogy than castration. An irreversible, life altering, and potentially fatal bodily disfiguration is not the same thing as spending 10% of your income in one night.

      He was sober, no one was tricked, he approached us with this idea, we walked him through every purchase, and he had plenty of opportunity to cancel his items after he blew his wad had it been such a detrimental decision for him. He didn’t.

      It’s money, not a body part. Does he regret it? Sure. But I’m not convinced he can plead insanity. Im also not convinced this is terribly “extreme” given his financial situation.

      I don’t disagree that Nikki and I had an advantage over him. But I also feel that way about everything I do. I charge $100 for a mere 10 min of my time on cam. The only reason that is not completely absurd to me is because it’s completely normal.

      How is spending a few 100 dollars on me different from Dylan’s situation for someone who makes minimum wage? Where’s the line? To what degree is it my responsibility to recognize that line and why? How do I do it?

      1. Charlie

        See, I wasn’t aware that Dylan made 100k a year. That makes it better. I thought we were talking ruination here.
        I didn’t come up with a figure or a defined line because I don’t really feel myself qualified to make such a judgement.
        The reason I used castration is because it’s the first thing that popped into my head as something that’s a fantasy in femdom videos but would be completely horrible in practice. You yourself have done a few castration vids.
        Hyperbole is always going to be a part of fetish videos. We’re always going to have people interested in the FANTASY of being driven into literal bankruptcy by financial domination. But of course, I’m sure you’d agree that actually going through with it when some broken man begs you to make him literally bankrupt would be morally unconscionable.
        I don’t ask you to find a definitive line between making a living by fulfilling someone’s perfectly healthy desire to be dominated and exploiting a person who is asking you to assist them in their self-destructive behavior for your own benefit. I just want to make sure that you recognize that there is a line, and that you don’t let greed cloud you when trying to find that line on a case-by-case basis. Your quick and intelligent response makes me much more assured in your professionalism. I hope you take no personal offense to this, as you and I both know that there are plenty of “findoms” out there who would like nothing more than for someone to beg them to drive them into bankruptcy and ruin their life.
        You’ve said before that this is just a job to you. I believe you’re selling yourself short. If this was just a job to you, you wouldn’t care about the ethics of a situation, and exploit people who need help whenever you got the chance. That you know there’s a line show that you actually have respect for the profession you have chosen, and that your enjoyment of it beyond the financial benefits is not just an act.
        Thank you for your time.

      2. Tommy

        Ceara is totally in the right, she can’t go around making sure she isn’t ruining anyone financial, checking everyone’s history and shit, that’s there responisibitly. People do this because they love it, whether they regret it after or not, they did it because they wanted too. Ceara has done nothing at all wrong here and I hope she keeps doing it.


        As a writer and a passion for all thing artsy I rather enjoy reading this experience for a screenplay I am developing I agree though she may have taken advantage of him, it was him to approached her and it was part of the rules that govern this life style if I am not mistaken, SSC.

        I must admit though this was very creative in it’s own write and I will be looking for more stories like this to read!

  3. totalbuttdude

    CONGRATS on the huge hit !! Enjoy the jewelry, etc. Sounds like everything was handled perfectly and professionally – he knew what he was getting into, and what was going on the whole time. If he regretted it later, well many guys do things they regret later – vanilla and fetish.

  4. rem81

    Nothing unethical here. Dylan approached the two Goddess. If someone offers me 10k. I take the money and run. Too bad for the person who offered it. I also find it hard for someone mentally unstable to be making over 100k a year.
    Waaa for Dylan.

  5. Charlie

    Also I would probably be more comfortable with financial domination of this magnitude if it wasn’t gleefully referred to as “rape” because that word should only be reserved for a heinous crime. But that’s a different debate.

  6. Tekilakid

    I think this article might be generating over serious comments in the replies…is it the fact that we are talking about 10k in the one sitting that has prompted the response about ethics etc.? Would this be less serious if this Dulan guy had spread his spending over a longer period and several more dommes? Would this be deemed less serious? More ethical? The fact that Dylan was more interested in an extreme/expensive session make this incident more controversial, morally wrong, less ethical etc. I will never judge anybody in this scene as I believe to each his own and although 10k in one sitting is an extreme amount but without knowing anything about this guys circumstances but as long as he didn’t steal or hurt anybody or get out of his position then is there any harm really?

    I guess the real moral question arises if you are aware that this guy doesn’t have the means to recover from this spend? If his previous sessions were 1-2k then all of a sudden he was ripe for the taking and due to something in his personal life triggered some sort of extra destructive instinct then you spotting this change in attitude and demeanour and used this to the maximum advantage for you? Is this ethically wrong? Deemed taking advantage of somebody in a weak position? I have my opinion here based on my experiences but I am interested in here other opinions on this subject as there appears to be some debate ongoing here….

    1. Charlie

      I think whether or not someone can recover from the spending is absolutely a huge part of it, maybe even the only relevant part. 10K for one person is money they can give to a woman to get off on being financial domination, and to another person it’s literally life or death. If someone literally cannot afford it but is doing it anyway, that’s self-destructive behavior, and it’s unethical to exploit that.
      The thing is, because of the dominant attitude that dommes need to project whenever talking to their audience makes clarifications like “by the way, if it’s literally a choice between giving me money and eating, keep your money” detrimental to the persona. A rational person recognizes that the sociopathic attitude many dommes express in their videos is an act for the purpose of fantasy.
      But then you have broken people who actually WANT to be driven to bankruptcy IN REAL LIFE, and at a certain point the domme has a moral obligation to say “this isn’t about fetishes anymore, this is about you engaging in self-destructive behavior”
      The question then becomes if the domme has the strength of character to reject one hell of a payday in favor of telling someone to get help.

      1. Tekilakid

        I get everything you are saying, I guess from the dommes point of view is that if a guy is in the zone of seeking that sort of self destructive type session then if he does not get it at one domme he will simply go to another….a domme suddenly speaking to a guy and questioning him as to whether he can afford what he is doing etc will mean 2 things for certain, the guy will leave the zone partially/temporarily and not ever contact that domme again.

        The other matter to consider is just because a guy says he wants to lose everything or go till all his cards are maxed etc…how is the domme to know there is not a safety net of cash somewhere to fall back on…as the online sessions allow each party to lie so easily or portray an act or character to each other the most natural thing to do for the domme maybe to stick to her domme persona either act or real and maximise the potential from any encounter…?

      2. pink pansy (@sissycarrie2)

        we don’t expect casinos to do background checks on everyone who comes into their establishments to make sure that no one is gambling their life savings away. If someone is addicted on that level that they would spend $10,000 even if it was the difference between life and death for them, then it’s their responsibility to be aware of that and seek help for it. It’s not Princess Ceara’s job to hold their hand.

        There have been plenty of times that i’ve spent more than i could afford to. i’ve had to sell things that i didn’t want to get rid of just to make rent or buy groceries on more than one occasion, but i’ve never once blamed the Domme for it. i’ve always accepted 100% responsibility for my actions.

        1. Tommy

          yh real shit, casino’s break people, should they tell the customers to seek help? You need to take responsiblity for your own actions. Ceara is totally innocent in all this and really she was very nice to grant his wish and give him one hell of a thrill.

  7. Luke

    I think it’s a beautiful thing that as consenting adult I can feel the thrill of unbridled exploitation from a stranger on the Internet.

    I used to masturbate to 19-23 yr old women being fucked on camera by 4+ guys. Many of them will have had drug problems/ be taking risks with their health ect. Now i masturbate to intelligent, independent women who tell me I am not allowed to cum unless I buy them shoes. They spend my money on living fulfilling lives. I know which side of the adult entertainment industry I am more comfortable with.

    $10k will sting, but I bet as soon as any tinge of regret rises up in Dylan’s mind it is instantly surpassed by waves of giddy excitement. Such is the life of a payslave.

    I hope one day I am lucky enough to feel the heady thrill of being financially fucked hard by such a sublime woman as Ceara.

  8. tommy

    It´s so hot. Reading about you Princess CEara and your incredible power over men. I´m dreaming of being raped by you but I´m a little afraid to contact someone so gorgeous and so obviously smart and intelligen

  9. pink pansy (@sissycarrie2)

    As a sub who has, in the past, spent far more than what i could afford at the time on Dommes, and who is currently paying off over $2,000 in debt that was spent almost entirely on Dommes, i completely support You in this, Princess Ceara. i don’t believe that anything You did was unethical or immoral in any way.

    People have to be responsible for their own actions. Yes, financial domination can be an addiction, and it’s easy for subs to get sucked in and spend more than we should, but it’s up to us to be aware of that and to control ourselves. If we spend more than we should, then that’s our fault, and we have to deal with the consequences of our actions.

    It’s no different than if dylan were to buy a car that he couldn’t afford. No one would say that the car dealership is unethical for selling him the car. They would say that dylan is responsible for buying the car when he knew that he couldn’t afford it.

    The exciting part of financial domination for the sub is the risk of having our limits pushed. we know going in that there’s a very real possibility that we’ll end up spending more than we’d planned. That’s what makes it so hot. The idea of a Dominent, Alpha Female Goddess pushing our limits. That’s the exciting part of any form of Female Domination, i think. Even with humiliation fetishes, we get off on having our limits pushed. A lot of us our afraid to expose our faces or identities to our Dommes, for example, but we secretly(or sometimes not so secretly) get off on the idea of a Domme seducing us into sending Her pics of ourselves doing the most humiliating things imaginable with our faces showing.

    That’s the game. we agree to play it knowing what the risks are. When i go into a FinDom session, i always have a set amount that i plan on spending. Sometimes it’s only $50 or so. Others it’s a few hundred. In any case, i always know that there’s a real possibility that i could end up spending more than that. Sometimes much more. That’s completely my responsibility. There have been plenty of times where i’ve regretted spending too much, but i’ve never blamed the Domme for it. i’ve always blamed myself.

    If someone has a gambling addiction, we don’t expect the casinos to hold their hand and not let them gamble all of their money way. The responsibility is on the person with the addiction to seek out help for their addiction. Likewise, if the reason why dylan spent so much money is that he has an addiction, it’s his responsibility to seek help for that addiction. It is not the responsibility of Princess Ceara or Princess Bratty Nikki to hold his hand.

    Anyway, sorry for the novel. It’s just that this is a subject that i’m really passionate about. Dommes provide a fantastic service that most of us probably couldn’t live without, and i hate the way They’re demonized or made out to be bad people because of the choices of Their clients. we aren’t babies, and we’re the ones who should be responsible for our choices. Not the Dommes.

    Also, as far as addictions go, FinDom is a pretty good one. i doubt many gambling addicts look back on the time they lost their life savings playing Blackjack and beat off to it.

  10. svet

    but has there ever been a findom session you did cut short or refuse to do because of the welfare of your customer? I’ve been in subspace and it’s at least as effective at reducing impulse control and impairing judgement as being trashed drunk. A sub will do things that seem ill to others and overtly self destructive. A skilled domme can blow passed whatever defenses remain. His mental capacity is reduced and you are the one intentionally reducing him. A guy could come to you to act out fantasy but implicitly expect you to keep on some safety features. Personally, I don’t think you would care if you took the 10 k from a guy earning 100 k a year or a guy scraping by on social security.

    1. cearalynch

      Being “ruined” is a common fantasy men like to play out. So is being rich and having the ability to spoil a beautiful woman with $1000s. I don’t think either of these fantasies says anything about the reality of their financial situation, and yet, these fantasies are really the only thing I ever really know about my customers.

      I think you over estimate a domme’s ability to know the reality of any one of 100s of men she talks to on the other side of the computer.

      Do you think it is my responsibility to know the welfare of any and/or every person I talk to? If so, how do suppose I do that? I am sincerely asking you.

      1. Svet

        My question was have you or would you decline a session if you knew the guy could not afford it? It was a hypothetical question to cut through the deflections. I don’t believe you care about anything but the money grab and these moral explorations of yours are just your way to rationalize away any guilt that may creep in.

        in real life sessions they will ask you beforehand what your limits are. You agree to a safe-word in case things go to far. If a guy told you to stop during a session would you respect his wishes or would you press your advantage and see if his will power collapses?

        I’m speaking from experience, not with you. I’ve told dommes prior to a show what my absolute spending limit is and when I say stop they must stop. However, after prolonged edging and and deep into a session, when they saw how helpless I was, they ignored the safeword and took obscene amounts of my money away. For me there is a point when I cannot fight the urges to destroy myself financially. I know that seems like a cop out but when you are edging and all your submissive triggers are being set off simultaneously for a very long time, it does feel impossible to say no. It’s important a fantasy role-play doesn’t turn into a real personal crisis.

        1. cearalynch

          I thought I answered your question indirectly. But I’ll be more clear: no I have not ended a session because a client could not afford it, because I am not privy to what my clients can and cannot afford. How could I be? I just accept whatever money they offer me.

          How I work is this: a sub approaches me and requests a session, he tells me the length of time he wants and I quote him a price. Assuming he pays, I give him his moneys worth and not a second more. That is, after the session is over I don’t “seduce” him into paying more. Because I don’t work off the clock.

          I have found that often times subs try to prolong the session, hoping I’ll still talk to him and “convince” him to pay more. Perhaps some dommes see this an opportunity push buttons, but I simply find it annoying and manipulative. The session is over. Unless the subs explicitly asks for more time with me and pays for it, we have nothing more to talk about.

          1. ObedienSlaveBoy

            Hi your highness Ceara– I am following up on your Twitter request. I agree with Charlie that the ethics of this “wallet rape” is questionable, but I also agree with you that the castration analogy is not particularly strong. Nonetheless, Charlie’s broader argument remains valid as consent alone does not suffice. Perhaps one way to deal with this ethically is to ask for some sort of financial statement prior to the session, so you have some evidence of the sub’s financial ability to carry out such a fantasy. Of course, he could make something up but at least it is one extra step that may make him think twice.

            Another question to consider: do you not think that excessive financial submission is intrinsically wrong (in the sense that the very act/behaviour is wrong irrespective of the circumstances in which it takes place)? So, even if the sub is financially capable, his desire to spend 10K on luxury items on one night may be intrinsically wrong, something that you make possible by providing him with a session.

            I’d love to hear your thoughts your highness, thank you.

          2. cearalynch

            “Perhaps one way to deal with this ethically is to ask for some sort of financial statement prior to the session.”

            You can’t be serious… What other profession in this world uses such a precaution? Why should mine be any exception? My customers are not children. I am not their mother.

            Surely it’s obvious that I find nothing intrinsically wrong about a grown man spending his money however he chooses to when its in his financial capacity to do so and its not hurting anyone else. I cannot for the life of me imagine why anyone would.

          3. ObedienSlaveBoy

            Yes, good point about too much paternalism being undesirable. I am not a domme so not much experience in this area, but there has to be some procedures available to you to make sure that he is giving informed consent before the session.

            A lot of people would! Take, racial humiliation videos, for instance. If you grant the argument that racism is inherently wrong, I cannot see how racial hum JOI can be morally justified (even when requested by a non-white customer). Similarly, if we admit that there is something inherently wrong about over-indulgence in luxury goods, then I cannot see how this session you had is morally justifiable. But, let’s even grant your argument that there is nothing inherently wrong about it. Nonetheless, to claim that your 10K purchase is “not hurting anyone else” breaks my heart. How about the workers who made those luxury products you bought? Yes, we all participate in the exploitative neoliberal capitalist system to a certain extent, but a 10K luxury purchase in one night is something else!

          4. Charlie

            Potential hypothetical here: How do you deal with Findom subs who have families? If someone with no one who depends on them wants to throw their life away to get off, I can accept for the moment that that’s their choice and you have no responsibility to step in and say “no, I’m not doing this.” But when/if a sub is spending more than they can afford on you at the cost of not just themselves, but their family, surely it isn’t right to take part in that. You have no obligation to tell them to get help, but I do think that there is a moral responsibility to refuse findom services to those who are demonstrably hurting others with their self-destructive behavior.

          5. cearalynch

            The thing about hypotheticals is that they’re difficult to apply in real life. Is it unethical for me to accept money from someone who should be spending it on their family? Arguably, yes. But the issue still remains; how the hell am I suppose to know the reality of my customer’s family situation? Do you suggest I screen every client and make him demonstrate proof that he can afford to spend his money the way he chooses to? How do you propose I do that? Do you think any other job should do this as well or just mine?

            As I stated above, I don’t approach my customers, they come to me with their specific desires. I believe the onus is on them to control how they spend their money. It’s unrealistic to expect me to figure out the true financial situation of someone on the other side of the computer when our relationship is built on fantasy and hyperbole.

          6. Charlie

            Just spitballin’ here, but a possible solution could be a disclaimer in your Skype profile stating that you don’t wish to financially dominate anyone who is hurting their family by indulging in such behavior. I know you have a persona to keep up, but I think you are in a position of power and as such I feel that you have a responsibility to “break character” as it were and say SOMEWHERE that no, you don’t ACTUALLY want a guy to take money from his kid’s college fund (as an extreme example) and give it all to you. There’s plenty of people who engage in this behavior on a relatively healthy level, and turning away those who come to you to participate in impulsive behavior that harms others as well as themselves is simply the right thing to do.

  11. womenrule

    my opinion is with both Princess Ceara and Bratty Nikki on cam at the same time, this slave got off easy. That was quite a memorable experience for him i am sure!

    1. cearalynch

      I have no idea who you are. You shouldn’t pay for a session that hasn’t been arranged in advance. Find me yahoo messenger, screen name cearaspanties.

      1. C

        I messaged you on skype about doing a cam session months ago. You answered and said to send you 50$ through paypal. I did but it took a little while to go through. After the money went through I’ve tried many times to contact you and you haven’t responded.

        1. cearalynch

          Again, I have no idea who you are or what you’re talking about. You need to contact me via yahoo or skype to work this out and give me the information necessary so I can verify that you’ve paid. If i haven’t responded to you on there, it’s because I haven’t been on. Commenting on here won’t make it happen any faster.

  12. pp

    off topic I know, but you might like it; a vaguely relevant quip I like is about the once-rich man who said “I spent most of my money on women, booze and drugs and wasted the rest.” I loved the article and found it exciting, I have done this but it’s a long time until the next splurge (money that is, although as someone said more or less – and I’m not a gambler – gambling doesn’t give you fond memories and a stiffy. I love this article, thank you.

  13. Charlie

    If you tell self-destructive people via disclaimer that you literally do not want their money and that you want them to seek help then it may not dissuade everyone but I have faith that it will get through to at least one person. And that’s one less family ruined. And that makes a difference. So add a disclaimer to your profile, and you will have fulfilled your moral obligation.

    1. cearalynch

      Im not convinced a disclaimer has the power to save an entire family anymore than I believe an “adults only” warning prevents a kid from viewing porn until their 18th birthday.

      It is not my moral obligation to use prime real estate to poorly convince a tiny fraction of my cliental not to make their own decisions. The onus is on the individual to get help if that’s what they need.

      1. ObedienSlaveBoy

        Hi you highness– “I dont think it’s inherently wrong to buy luxury goods.” That’s strawman. I buy luxury items too, but the excess here is what makes it wrong. I mean it is a pretty minor offense on the scale of intrinsically wrong acts (compared with say torture, preemptive war, etc.), but still.

        Seems like Charlie and I cannot convince your highness, but you do engage with the ethical implications of your profession which I highly appreciate. And, I am impressed by your argumentation skills. I am a doctoral student, but nonetheless, very intimated by you. Do you read a lot/attend school your highness?

        1. cearalynch

          Ok. Let me rephrase: I don’t think it’s inherently wrong to buy luxury goods in excess. Wasteful? Perhaps. A little greedy? Sure. But “inherently wrong?” I don’t buy it.

          No I don’t attend school, I graduated 2 years ago.

          1. ObedienSlaveBoy

            Very nice your highness. What did you study?
            Do you offer webcam sessions where you just talk with your sub about your experiences as a domme? Couldn’t find info on the site. I’ve been wanting to do a session but I keep thinking I am not even worthy to be in your virtual presence.

          2. cearalynch

            Of course youre not worthy, thats why you pay for it. Cam is $10/min. you can find me on yahoo messenger, screen name: cearaspanties.

      2. Charlie

        Okay let’s try a different approach. Are drug dealers, regardless of the legality of the substances they sell, immoral people? I believe they are, because while they provide a service that people seek out of their own free will, they do so while not caring about the effects the service will have on their customer. Can a findom indulge himself responsibly? Sure, just like quite a few people can use drugs in moderation. But for those who can’t, for those who are ADDICTED and therefore incapable of making decisions for themselves, YOU as someone with power over them have a moral obligation to put in some sort of notice imploring addicts to seek help instead of your services or the services of another domme. Because otherwise, you’re just using people, and not in a sexy way, but in a very real and damaging and cruel and ugly way.

        1. cearalynch

          Your analogy doesn’t work for a couple reasons 1. Drug dealers typically deal with their customers in person, not anonymously over the internet. & 2. being a drug dealer doesn’t require one to not care about their customers, thats a individual choice.

          Are you suggesting being a drug dealer would be okay if they just offered a disclaimer before selling their product? This whole idea is as silly to me as the “Caution: Hot!” warning on cups of coffee.

          This isn’t so much a moral “obligation” as it is moral “extra credit.”

          1. Charlie

            I’m not saying that drug dealers care about their customers. I’m saying that you should. You can talk a game about submissive people being losers or freaks or whatever, but at the end of the day, they’re just people who get off from submitting to a beautiful woman, and there’s nothing inferior about that. But you need to recognize that this “indulgence” for lack of a better term can be an addiction, and it’s your responsibility to recognize when one of your customers, who is, just like you, a human being that enjoys subverting traditional gender roles for sexual purposes, has crossed the line between consensual fun, and uncontrollable addiction.
            Your analogy of warning labels on coffee is interesting, as those resulted from a lawsuit that was caused by a woman spilling scalding hot coffee on herself that caused third degree burns. Normal coffee shouldn’t do that, that’s the why the lawsuit was successful. Similarly, the fact that financial domination can result in someone spending $10,000 dollars in one night shows evidence that the fetish is taken by some to such an extreme that a warning label is sensible.
            And yes, if you want to call “being a decent and professional human being” “moral extra credit” than I certainly argue with you. This certainly isn’t a moral obligation in the legal sense ala Good Samaritan laws, but I ask you, I implore you, to show some tangible effort in helping those who can’t distinguish between fantasy and real-life consequences. If not for the subs, then for their children.

          2. cearalynch

            I think you misunderstood the coffee analogy. My point is that I don’t believe such a warning label has any preventative effect on someone burning themselves. It merely points out the obvious.

            This is argument is going in circles. Ive already explained why its unrealistic to presume an internet domme has the ability –let alone responsibility— to know the reality of their anonymous customers and whether or not they’re crossing a line. I’ve also explained why the amount of money one spends tells us nothing in a world of varied incomes. Rather than repeat myself, I invite you to review the arguments above.

          3. Mistress HEELena

            A horny male specimen is going to spend his money on whatever and whoever will fulfill his fantasy. He will not read any disclaimers. If he doesn’t spend his cash on one domme because she enquired about his family situation and deterred him, he will take his custom elsewhere. Do smokers/addicts read the warning labels? Not only that they spend a fortune over their lifetime on fags, they damage their health and the health of others (and often smoke in front of their children).

      3. James Sub (@subjames0)

        This is a bit late in response, but i thought i’d give a couple of cents here. Part of why we engage in Financial Submission is the danger and excitement of the knowledge that our bills may not get paid on time because of it. Let’s take this Disclaimer idea for example: if i saw a Domme post a Disclaimer like that, i would probably be even more inclined to spend money on Her, not less. The seeming inherent danger She is broadcasting makes Her more desirable, not less. Take Michael Douglas’ character in Basic Instinct for example (for lack of better one). He knows deep down inside that Catherine is dangerous and has probably killed her lovers. That doesn’t stop him from going for it though, on the contrary. It’s BECAUSE she is dangerous and mysterious (and drop dead sexy) that gets his blood pumping.
        Also, speaking of moral obligations, i have a question for Charlie: do you think Strip Club dancers should be required to financially screen every single customer that walks through the doors, in order to make sure they can be “viably seduced into spending?” Hell no. If you think what Princess Ceara has done here is ethically questionable, then you have not the slightest clue what goes on between strippers and customers. i have seen Dancers string their customers along for months on end (pretending to “love” them), spending his thousands, making up stories about having 4 kids to support (when they are single). i have even seen a customer who was reduced to begging the Dancer not to break up with him because he is now broke, house sold, car sold, taking buses everywhere and living in apartment, empty pockets hanging out, all while she is giving him his last lap dance. Keep in mind this dancer was a real Pro (been doing it 10+ years). When she is done, she moves to the next customer. And so on, ad infinitum.
        Ethically questionable? What Princess Ceara does is about as questionable as a devout Christian who goes to Church every Sunday.

  14. Luke

    So far we have assumed an awful lot about “Dylan” to make an ethical argument. He is apparently mentally damaged, his family is now ruined and people in the 3rd world suffered to make the handbags and shoes bought with his money.

    I personally think that it is unworkable and more importantly potentially misleading to pretend that the Domme has a duty of care towards financial subs.

    In the real world disclaimers are used to absolve parties of responsibility/ liability not the other way round.

  15. Mistress HEELena

    I am slightly amazed that that there even needs to be a discussion about the morality (or the lack of) of findom. Is it hidden envy? Is it because it looks like some of us girls are having an easy ride?

    Findommes do not STEAL anyones’s money nor they use trickery. Horny men do not have an impaired mental capacity and THEY always do the hunting, not vice versa. Why are some guys above (namely Charlie) concerned about the well financial being of grown men who spend a small fraction of their income on their sexual pleasure (yes, Dylan spent 10k on HIS sexual pleasure – that’s how I see it – not on luxury goods). Cam time with both girls for those 2 hrs would have cost him $ 2400 so spending 4x more is not such big deal. It is rare in findom world, but at the same time, it’s normal. I’ve witnessed a client gamble $8000 in a casino in less than 5 minutes and as I see it, he might have as well flushed it down the toilet- but he didn’t even regret it. In my opinion, “Dylan” made a wise choice – instead of blowing the extra cash (it was probably a bonus, not his last banknotes) on gambling, alcohol, drugs, prostitutes or whatever guys spend their cash on – he chose to actually make someone happy in the process instead of sexually exploiting them. The majority of adult porn customers pay for vanilla sex or porn films and nobody questions the morality of that or whether or not the providers enjoy themselves! It is given that they do not. Ceara and Nikki had a blast and it looks like someone has a real problem with that.

    As for suggesting dommes should offer the use a safeword or asking for background financial information and assess if finslaves are fit for the game – not only time consuming and unrealistic, this would be totally incompatible with the whole concept of financial domination. I have tried asking for a budget in my early days but payslaves actually refuse to provide this as it ruins the “fun”.

  16. BRR (@BrrRamsbu)

    I applaud You and Ms Nikki for enjoying Yourselves shopping at Saks on Dylan’s dime, he obviously appreciates Your beauty and all that You both do, just as I do.

    I just wish I could offer You the same indulgence; maybe one day if I’m lucky I’ll have dollars to do just that.

  17. Johnny B

    The fact that he enjoys himself doesn’t exclude you from being a low class skank any more than a sugardaddy willingly paying for a golddigger would in her case: In fact both of these are more or less the same shit.

    I do respect strippers, whores and underwear sellers due to the services they provide but your type of gambit is by very definition parasitic regardless of whether the guy jerks off or not.

    If i saw you getting raped i’d do nothing and not feel bad at all, quite the opposite.

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