Mistress Mitsukai

Mistress Mitsukai was one of the first findoms I ever discovered online.

It was 2006; I was mostly selling panties on ebanned at the time and just barely getting my femdom site up and running. I remember finding her blog and reading it with obsessive curiosity and admiration. Amongst a sea of bratty pink princesses, she was this relaxed, poised individual who could cut you down with a few swift words.  She intimidated me.

Her brilliant style of humiliation was to let men inadvertently embarrass themselves by letting her clear, straightforward manner of speaking stand in hilarious contrast to the embarrassing ways in which men who are drunk off their own lust attempt to communicate and function.

She had a casual, yet sadistic way of exerting her dominance. Back before anyone was making clips, she posted free videos on youtube that eroticized gunplay and splattering men’s brains against the wall. Her particularly dark imagination and sardonic diction was something to be admired. She was the type of woman I wanted to drink whiskey and laugh maniacally with…and I fucking hate whiskey.

Of course I feel somewhat awkward writing about someone I don’t really know.  The only face-to-face interaction I had with Mitsukai was brief. It was in Vegas 3 years ago, we had been texting all day trying to figure out how we could meet up, hang out and shoot clips. But Vegas being Vegas, all we managed to do was cross paths at a club with her arriving just as I was leaving. I remember giving her a hug and screaming in her ear how nice it was to meet her over the loud top 40s mix, then texting her later saying how I wished it would have worked out better.

She passed away last week.

I don’t know many details, or have 100% confirmation, but a short search led me to a news article confirming a woman with her name, age and location had been killed in a car accident. She hasn’t updated anything online in weeks and she is not replying to my messages.

I wish I could say more about who she was as a person, but whatever I know of her was what she carefully crafted and discriminately chose to share online. Perhaps it’s weird to try and honor someone in this way, but I always liked her and felt inclined to write these honest words in regard to how I felt about her, regardless of how insignificant our relationship was.


30 thoughts on “Mistress Mitsukai

  1. Dickie Stroker

    R.I.P. Mistress Mitsukai . I think she would be flattered by your words Cearal, a fitting tribute.

  2. Edwid

    RIP I dont know how to handle this… Mitsukai’s videos were legendary and you two would have made a brilliant duo. How did you find out about all of this? You were trying to correspond with her around the time this all happened?

  3. Miss Pinky Galore

    I’m so shocked & saddened to read this 🙁 Mitsy was one of the first online Dommes to befriend me and I always admired her cavalier yet aggressive style. Thank you for letting us know. Rest in Peace beautiful lady.

  4. hendrix

    this is the first girl I saw maybe in 2005 or 2006,by random, humiliate a man by camtocam on youtube, at the time I did not even know it would become a femdom specialty (i even think she did that just for fun at this time), I watched it being captivated by the effect it had on me. She was beautiful, natural and cool. It’s really sad

  5. Karen AG

    I’m sitting here completely shocked. Mitsy. RIP. she was one of the first girls I ever double dommed with. cool as shit, honest without being a dick ( to us women ) straightforward and Ceara is right — intimidating.

    I can’t. I just can’t. sad day. RIP.

    1. @submissiveray (twitter)

      Did I know you as well back in 2006 from Yahoo? What was your name? I’m just heart broken to hear about this.

  6. totalbuttdude

    Thank You for letting us know and the nice tribute. I’ll try and pass the word. Very sad indeed – too young. Enforces the idea that some things are important, and some really are not.

  7. Lyne

    Thanks so much for such an eloquently written post, Ceara. I’m so shocked and saddened by this news. We share almost the exact same memories of Mitsukai.. She was legendary. RIP.

  8. JessicaGBanks

    Wow sad. Nice tribute Ceara.

    I think she would be pleased to read this.

    And yes tbd, it reminds that most things probably aren’t nearly as important as we treat them.

    RIP Mitsukai. A talented lady.

  9. TnD

    My heart is so heavy right now…we had only reconnected after some years just the other week..I simply don’t know where to find words right now to express my sorrow ~ Rest in blissful, wondrous peace dear Mitzy.

  10. Billy

    Thank You Ms Ceara for this wonderful tribute to Mistress Mitsukai. i communicated with Her for a time several years ago. She really impressed me with Her elegance and sophistication. She will be sorely missed.

    R.I.P. Mistress Mitsukai

  11. Mike

    One of the coolest ever in the findom arena, had her own style, Midwest non pretention, Bay area cool, lover of music, unafraid to take the conversation to area’s of mutual interest. Wow, this jolts a person into reality, RIP MM…..

  12. Dr Sue

    Thank you for writing this Ceara. It doesn’t matter whether anyone met her in person or not. Everyone touches lives with their interactions both live and online. Mitsukai was a lovely woman who will be greatly missed in our community. Remember her with love, smiles and light and she’ll feel it!

  13. barry

    Thank you, Ceara, for posting this. It’s a shocking loss. May she RIP, forever young.

    There’s a very nice memorial slide-show posted by her family. Google “[her real name] memorial : vimeo”.

    (Sorry to anyone reading this who didn’t know her real name, but I don’t want to risk having her family hear from a nut/hater. She didn’t take crap from anyone, and sometimes jousted with unreasonable guys.)

  14. John

    Thank you for your tribute. I never met her but was always struck by her intelligence and style. I am shock–can’t quite process this.

  15. Jamie

    I saw a video of her’s about six weeks ago, and ever since I’ve been on a mission to find more of her content. Sure she was gorgeous, but there was something else that fascinated me about her that I can’t quite get a grasp on. Today my pursuit lead me here…and it feels like I’ve just been dropped into a bath of icy water. What an absolutely shocking conclusion. My condolences go out to her family and friends.

  16. Ms Sweet Feet

    I just saw this while reading your honesty post. This is horrible, I met her in San Fran at the Armory. We had so much fun that night. RIP Kelly

    1. @submissiveray (twitter)

      Could you please get in touch via Twitter as I really am heart broken and want to discuss more about the events of her life and tragedy.

  17. Andy

    I just found this incredibly sad – It’s also rather haunting that there is still a presence and joie de vivre of her on the internet. What a dreadful thing to happen.

  18. GiftedMatryoshka

    It’s incredibly hard to believe what I just read. I hadn’t been paying much attention to Mitsukai in recent years because of her decreased activity, but I never would have thought that her sudden absence was due to her death. As I will be echoing from previous posters: Mitsukai was an incredibly captivating individual and domme, perhaps even bordering on the enthralling.

    Mitsukai was the person through which I was first introduced to the world of domination (or rather being dominated). Perhaps around five or six years ago, something about her personality and the way she carried herself so resolutely kept my interest high for many years. In fact, I was so curious that I actually saw her once in real life at her place of employment in the East Bay. She didn’t know who I was, but to my immense surprise, she still carried herself as regally in real life as she did online. Later, when I had my first and only actual conversation with her online, I told her about having met her and she shrugged it off laughing, leading to a wonderfully spontaneous discussion about other people and the city.

    It’s a shame to lose such a naturally talented individual but I hope that her work will be remembered, even if just somewhat so, by the members of our community. Also, to Ceara and the other dommes here, I am deeply moved at your words of remembrance. This sort of amity is rare to see, but it is meaningful beyond words.

    1. @submissiveray (twitter)

      Could you please tell me more about Mistress Mitsukai? She is one Domme who touched my life and shall be remembered forever. Please get in touch via twitter.

  19. Stephen

    I just recently discovered her videos online, got hooked, then found out she died. How sad.. what a tragic end to such a short and magniftcent life. RIP Mistress Mitsukai; you will be missed.

  20. Chris

    Wow. This is sad and unexpected. I remember Mitsukai from back in the day, and your recollection is spot on. I remember that gun erotica video to this day, for instance.

    Thanks for writing this. I doubt I would have learned about this otherwise. I didn’t know her as a person, but she was certainly a force of nature. RIP.

  21. Chris

    Um… on a completely different note… is anybody else weirded out by the dude basically admitting to stalking a domme IRL?

  22. Submissive Donnatello

    I usually don’t cry over the most sad events. Even when members of our family have passed away I’ve never felt like shedding any tears.

    But the moment I came to know about Mistress Mitsukai’s tragedy, my heart cried out in pain. My soul wept and tears started flowing down my cheeks. Before I knew it within moments I was crying like a baby. With nobody to share my grief to, I cried in solitude. The online community is the only place where I can share my grief and feelings and so I decided to post this comment.

    Mistress Mitsukai has been one of the first Lady who taught me about the femdom lifestyle when I was new to this back in 2004. She sure has touched my life and I shall never ever forget her for the rest of my life.

    At this point I’m thinking all the materialistic tributes wont’ make any sense yet I don’t know what would be the best tribute for her at this moment. If however it was possible I would let Mistress Mitsukai have my life because coming from a poor family as much as I wanted to benefit Mistress Mitsukai I could not and I feel guilty about this giving my life to Mistress Mitsukai would be the best tribute. Hence, I address to Mistress Mitsukai, if you are reading this, if you can hear my inner voice, please make my life as yours and let me suffer for you.

  23. D

    I still miss her. I feared her but she could also be very nice at times. We communicated for a long time but I didn’t actually become her “property” until about a month before she died. She was truly enigmatic. I’ve never stopped thinking about who she was and what she could have been.

  24. slave jeff

    2+ years later, I still think of her almost daily. She was the first and only online domme I ever really connected with. I still wear my panties and the chastity belt regularly to remind me of following her orders to buy them. I hope to find another domme to connect with one day, but I will ALWAYS remember her.

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