The Price of Forgiveness.

A couple nights ago I was woken up at 6am by a man barging into my house. It startled me for a minute until I realized who it was.

“I’m here to do my job.” He joked “Normally I hate my job, but I’m actually excited to come into work today.”

He then stripped off his clothes, jumped into my bed and we fucked.

I had requested he come over the night before, after my long-term sub, Ismail, paid $500 yet again for a used condom and he needed it shipped to Africa as soon as possible because he’d be leaving for India next week.

“You realize your DNA is going to be dumped on some holy book in Zambia and then licked off by a devout religious married man with 2 kids?” I asked him post coitus.

“Yeah, wow, that’s really crazy. What if someone found the book and traced it back to me? What would they think?”

“Well, whatever they think, the truth is far more insane.”


Ismail came crawling back after throwing a little tantrum a couple weeks ago. He got upset when I wasn’t available to watch him eat the contents of another condom I sent to him over webcam when he wanted to. So, I shrugged him off, as I have so many times before, knowing it’d be a matter of days before he’d be unloading his wallet (and dignity) onto me again. He’s been sending me heaps of money for years, but his life is split in two polarizing directions; extreme fetish and extreme religion. So, it’s no surprise that he’s either promising complete devotion forever or swearing me off completely. This was not our first rodeo.


So for the umpteenth time, he asked if we could have a “new beginning.”

I’m reasonable woman. I agreed to take him back…with a couple requirements. 1. that he send me $1000 via western union and 2. he write me a thoughtful letter explaining how he fucked up and what he intends to do differently this time.

I have zero faith in the contents of the letter but money often overrules whatever bullshit a sub tries to feed me.

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So Ismail requested another condom after he won my recent thong auction on ebanned. He’s kinda stupid, not too tech savvy and ended up outbidding himself several times over thinking he was bidding against another person, bringing the auction to an ending price of $550.


Side note: god damn my ass looks great here.

Anyway, I told him to make it $1000 and I’d throw the condom in there as well.



There you have it. The cost of a dirty thong, used condom, and forgiveness. Quite a bargain if you ask me.

15 thoughts on “The Price of Forgiveness.

  1. Litlebobb

    i admire You for carving out a very lucrative living with Your smarts beauty & hardwork , some of this behavior must just blow Your mind at times it amazes me & i’m a submisive male. Some of Your tales are really quite humorous & i always enjoy Your wit & intelligence. Big Canadian fan & avid reader & watcher of Your material.xo


    Goddess I proclaim that you are GOD. You are more than perfect. I seriously can’t live without you. I am crazy about you. I think about you 24 hours a day.

  3. Dick

    I used to sell my pee to pot smokers who needed clean piss for job interviews. I always felt so proud of the fact I could make 20 bucks for just taking a leak. I now realize that was nothing and should have been selling condoms to Africans. 😀

  4. sdjintn

    Wow, Princess. You prove time and again that Women are the superior sex. And you are the most superior of all! Love that story, and the confidence it exudes.

  5. @longingforceara

    Lately you seem to be writing about your more unusual slaves. Buying used condoms and eating the contents repulses me to no end. Glad to hear you’re getting paid and whatever is going on in that man’s life, I hope he finds peace. He sounds like he’s a mess.

  6. raptone

    “Did you try to message me?” – as if you’d be spontaneously overcome with regret and want him back as a slave. That made me laugh. Anyone who follows you knows that would never happen. As desperate he says he is, supposedly controlled by his opposing God and Goddess, it’s really him in control. He’s manipulative, self-punishing, self-rewarding, and no doubt having a great time.

  7. anon

    I really do not know who to talk to and of course you probably are the wrong one. It’s late and I’m somewhat buzzed. You likely will try to stay in your role and this will make my problem worse. Then again, maybe you will be a person and i no longer will see you people as things that deserve the worst treatment. People who should be punished. You seem like caricatures of evil. Not even human.

    The problem is rage. It’s not just periods of rage; the feelings are omnipresent, overwhelming and very dark. Without saying anything that could get me in trouble, my impulses toward dommes are as dark as possible to the point that I would trade my own life in to make them come true. I have no plans to harm anyone. Nobody wants to live immersed in the most negative feelings possible. I’m sexually attracted to people who I really would jump for joy if I heard were dead the next morning. I wish them agony and I wish it constantly. I’m sure you will wish to impress your throngs of admirers with a snarky response. I would expect nothing more to my very sincere question. How do I stop hating people I cannot avoid?

    1. cearalynch Post author

      I don’t know. But I think you should seek professional help. A quality therapist is not easy to come by (especially one who is knowledgable and open minded about the kink world) but most of them allow a free interview consultation so you can shop around and find a good fit for you.

      I wish I could be of more help, but you know this isn’t about me at all. I am human. I have feelings, anxieties, desires, hopes, fears, and people who love me. On an intellectual level I know you know this. Whatever emotional burden is telling you otherwise can to be worked out, but not by commenting here. Good luck.

  8. comfortface

    I wholeheartedly agree with your side note. I’m already aware of how amazing your ass is, but on that picture… it looks extra perfect.

  9. sillyoldman

    my comment is not specific to this post, i just wanted to say that i always enjoy reading your blog. It’s interesting to read about the people you deal with online although they are really a lot more “out there” than i am, probably because at my core, i am pretty boring and vanilla. i mostly enjoy reading about young women such as Yourself that have the confidence to lead their own lives, do what they want to do and develop their own skills to get what they want.

    So much of the general public might very well be horrified by my view that You would be an outstanding role model for the next generation of young women. By that, i don’t mean that they should all be doing cam shows, clips, etc. though there is certainly a market out there if some choose to do so. They do however need to develop the confidence to succeed in whatever they pursue and Your example is an excellent one.

  10. George

    Seems like a crafty guy, travels from zambia to india, yet is spending $10Ks on this garbage. You can pick up on some of it in his ‘apology’ email. Also interesting that he was initially was refusing the whole used condom play – what changed?

    There’s something very pathological about this – reminiscent of my opiate addiction. On a related note, for most of my life I was masturbating to body parts, quickly reaching ejaculation and calling it a night. I started experimenting with orgasm-enhancing drugs that would make the muscles around your prostate seize upon orgasm. Created a very different pattern of activity around it – jacking off normally paled in comparison and further exploration into fantasy along with compulsive redosing as well as maintaining arousal for longer ‘to make the most of it’ are issues that surfaced. And the side-effects were absolutely horrendous.

    I am not ready to make any conclusions about what I’ve discovered here, but will look into it further. Something very insightful and unseemignly complex is buried in this phenomenon.

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