I want to share with you a typical conversation I have pretty much on a daily basis:
Sub: I want to serve
Ceara: Ok tribute.
Sub: Can I see you on cam afterward?
Ceara: I thought you wanted to serve.
Sub: I do. But I just want to see you on cam.
Ceara: That's not you serving. That's you buying a service.
Its occurred to me perhaps some of you subs out there could use a reality check on the differences between serving and consuming. Lots of guys contact me saying they want to serve, but almost none of them do. The difference between service and consumption is the same as the difference between customers and slaves. Service is when you do something for me. Consumption is when I do something for you. Customers buy stuff. Slaves tribute. Buying stuff is when you hand over your money with a sense of entitlement. Tributing is when you hand over your money because you're a fucking slave. Get it?
There are two types of guys who can't seem to grasp this;
1. The kind who confuse buying a service with serving
2. The kind who confuse imposing-their-fetish-onto-you with serving
The annoying thing about the guy who confuses buying a service with serving is that it's insulting to presume that the work we do as dommes is actually you doing something for us. Whether its getting on cam, talking to you on the phone, making clips, writing up assignments, or watching you stick a dildo up your butt while you sing Ke$ha songs; we are doing something for you. It's not a service you're doing for us. It's a business transaction. That's why you pay for it.
Now, don't think my point here is to shame anyone for not being a "real slave." I actually prefer customers overall because I enjoy quick and easy interactions with a variety of subs and fetishes. If I'm going to spend the time nurturing a "long term relationship," I'll go fuck my boyfriend. My point here is too many of you don't understand the difference. You think you're entitled to something more than what you paid for because you confuse consumption with service. Buying a cam session doesn't earn you the right to chat with me for free the next day. Buying a few clips doesn't mean I "own" you. You are a customer. Not a slave.
Now, the kind of guy who confuses imposing-their-fetish-onto-you with serving is another animal all together. They are the true "wankers," if you will. The guys who try to provoke a free session. They have many tactics, ranging from playing chicken ("I bet you can't seduce my credit card number out of me.") to challenging your competence ("I thought you were a real domme") to assuming their dick is entertaining in any way ("Let me just show you a picture") to promising to pay later ("My next paycheck is all yours") to offering so-called blackmail information ("Omg, I'm soooo fucked now.") to randomly asking permission for ridiculous things ("Hi we've never talked before. Am I allowed to cum?")
Case in point:
Im sure a lot of you know exactly what you're doing. And for that I hope you burn in hell. But I also think there are some of you who really are just that stupid and get far too caught up in the desire to serve a domme who shares your fetish. After all, if I were a "real domme," I wouldn't be all about the money, right? Well prepare yourself guys, because Buzz Killington is about to make a statement; I don't share any of your fetishes. Not a damn one. If I did. I wouldn't be indulging them for money, I'd be playing with them in my bedroom. To digress for a moment; I don't think it's wise to do what turns you on for money. Not to knock anyone who does, more power to them, but doing sexually gratifying acts for money is not the same as doing it for fun. A shift occurs when your livelihood depends on it; your most likely doing it more often than you want to and negotiating based on the terms of the buyer, not your own. You will eventually burn out and begin to lose what it is you liked about it in the first place. I'm not willing to sacrifice my sexuality for money; I prefer to exploit yours.
Don't get me wrong. I love my job. I love the power, the creativity, the attention, the flexibility and the freedom. But almost all of those elements wouldn't exist if I wasn't getting paid absurd amounts of money for it. So many of you get off on trying to "entertain" me. That's fine, but just know that without money whatever you are doing ceases to be amusing. Watching a guy humiliate himself on cam for profit is hilarious, because I'm getting paid for it; watching him do it for free is just sad.
If I'm losing a lot of potential customers by admitting to this (because your head is too trapped in lala land to understand why men always have to pay for sexual gratification and women never will) so be it. But may I remind you; Im damn good at what I do. Regardless of my incentive to do it.
So do you still want to serve me? Really? Well as far as Im concerned, that can happen one of two ways. You can serve me with money, or without. If you want to (or have to) serve me without tributing, understand that will not earn you my attention. You will never get what others are willing to pay for. Period. But if you truly are selfless, service oriented and broke, you can do the following:
1. Leave high ratings for my clips
2. Write positive reviews for clips
3. Promote me in forums
4. Leave positive comments on my blog
5. Create artistic depictions
6. Report pirated clips
If you have money and want to serve, you should still do everything listed above. Just understand that means you must be tributing as well. Listen carefully; a tribute means you are giving me your cash without expecting anything in return. It doesnt mean you won't sometimes be rewarded, it just means you have to lose your sense of entitlement. Which means you cannot "tribute for cam time," or "tribute by purchasing clips." Those are transactions, not acts of devotion.
Serving also means I have to like you. Which is actually a much more difficult hurdle to pass. I generally can't stand most of you for longer than it takes you to blow your wad (which is why I have more customers than slaves.) This is something you probably can't do anything about. We either click or we don't.
And hey, I get it. A lot of you are customers who like to fantasize that your fetishes actually serve me in some way ("I am stroking for you, Mistress" / "I want to suck cock for you, Goddess") That's fine, I know how to play along. Knock yourself out. But only after you've paid (not "tributed") for that kind of session. Don't confuse your desires with my own. I want one thing and one thing only. Until you give me what I want, you will not get what you want.