Ruin Me shooting


It’s official. Were shooting this beast.

At least felt more official on Thursday, when there was a full film crew at my house; a cinematographer, sound mixer, production assistant, make up artist and stylist. Plus a table with coffee and pop tarts. This is the real deal.


Our cinematographer is a 2 time beard and mustache world champion, by the way. Isn’t it amazing? So soft and majestic. Hugging him is like diving into a pile of goose feathers.


The first two days went great, despite Julian’s prima donna attitude on set. I swear this bitch requires more hair and make up prep than I do…


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Racial Humiliation

“Most of us will get turned on at night by the very same things that we will demonstrate against during the day. The erotic mind is not very politically correct.” – Esther Perel

I received a clip request from a guy recently who wanted me to pretend he’s a little baby. After I gave him what will be his last diaper change, he wanted me to cover him in Vaseline, throw him in a back trash bag, tie it up, take it to the curb, and then laugh sadistically as the garbage man crushes his tiny body and skull in a garbage compactor.

I agreed to do the clip, took the nice mans money, filmed it and put it up for sale last week. As a result, exactly zero people accused me of infanticide.

I’ve acted out a lot of dark roles over the years. Over 1500 clips, many of which touched on topics such as rape, incest, extortion, castration, infidelity, murder and suicide. I’ve degraded men for their body, their age, their genital size, their mental illness, their religion and their sexuality. I’ve made clips that could be deemed homophobic, transphobic and pretty much all of them are sexist. I’ve told guys to murder their parents, to pimp out their wife and kids, to go bankrupt and consume shit until they die.

I’ve also shot exactly 3 clips on racial humiliation (RH). Each we’re a paid custom from a man of their respective race.

Just these 3 clips in particular, and not any others, have been caused an uproar a couple months back. It seems RH is a no go zone. The taboo of taboos. Everything else can be written off as role-play. But RH, for some reason, is the one special kink that can’t be acted out. If you do it, you are a racist. Is that fair?

Fantasies are not chosen. Our brains make them up without our permission. Sexuality is a force of Mother Nature, and Mother Nature doesn’t care who you are, what you look like, or what you find offensive.

I didn’t always do RH. But one day I received a phone call from a black guy who wanted me to. I did so, reluctantly. The words felt awkward coming from my mouth. I was wincing the entire conversation. But he encouraged me along the way and by the end of it all, he was grateful. Before he hung up, he breathed a sigh of relief and said,

“Thank you so much. It’s so hard to find someone willing to go there.”

There’s a world of difference between using words to hurt people and using words to make them cum. Intent matters. Fetishes often take our biggest insecurities, fears, and rage, recycles them in our brain and pushes them out into a big, blissful, climax. That’s pretty cool if you ask me.

If equality is the goal, we can’t say that RH is some how uniquely different from any other taboo kink involving consenting adults. It should be treated the same.

You don’t have to like it, you don’t have to participate in it. But shouting at producers who create it and trying to censor it from adults who enjoy it only creates resentment, not understanding.

I recently had a really nice conversation with Seth, aka @IngloriousBAD who is a self proclaimed feminist, social justice warrior and movie buff, who happens to have a fetish for racial humiliation (among other things.) You can listen to it here:

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Is femdom cheating?

I had an auction on ebanned recently to sell my old pink converse shoes. The winner promptly paid $155 followed by this email:

Hello Ceara,

I’m going to do something strange. Even to you this is probably very strange. You don’t need to send the shoes to me. Yesterday I had a weak moment but I regret it now. I sent you the money because we had a deal so I did what I promised.

I want to explain myself. This femdom and foot fetish I have is (was) a small part of life which I only use in a fantasy way. 10-15 years ago I was exploring this fetish and I saw you. For me you are the ultimate Goddess (in a fantasy way of course). You are hot cool, dominant etc. I watched some movies in the past and stuff like that but nothing more, because its just a fantasy or I was just scared.

I want to quit with this thing. (I’m not serving anyone. Never did for real. I don’t visit femdom sites and twitter anymore) But yesterday I had weak moment looked at twitter (#femdom) and saw you had an auction. Even thought I want to stop and just be normal 100% of the time, I felt in love. Like I said you are the ultimate Goddess, so I had to register and made an offer. Because it was something from you. But afterwards (not even after jerking off) it felt wrong. I’m not single at the moment. I’m living just a normal life and in some strange way it feels like cheating if i jerk off to femdom stuff with your shoe to my nose. 

Sorry if this is strange. I sent you the money. But you can still sell them to someone else.


As strange as he might think this is, its not really. Auction winners often pay me to relist items for more profit and I’ve certainly had my share of guys experience feelings of regret for transgressing.

As far as fetishes go, sniffing shoes and jerking off to femdom clips seem pretty benign to me. Do people really see it as cheating? How is it any different than jerking off to normal porn? I suppose some weirdos consider that cheating as well. Then again I don’t even practice monogamy, so I have a bias there.

But hey, by all means, I encourage all my followers to fight what can’t be fought. Keep telling yourself you’re normal (whatever that means) like it matters. It only serves to increase my profits. Thank you very much.

2nd chance to win my converse here.



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Happy birthday to… Nate?

This last weekend I celebrated my birthday by hosting a huge party at my house. 50 people showed including some familiar faces; Princess Monique, Meggerz, Astro Domina, Mistress T, MomoDomina Snow, and Nate-bitch, aka “the luckiest slave in the world.”

The party was amazing for a number of reasons, but the most blog worthy moment was when Monique pulled Nate-bitch out of my hot tub and began stepping all over him and kicking his ass. This instigated a humiliation pile-on with a few other girls as the rest of us sat back and laughed. Most of the attendees here were not in the adult industry so they couldn’t quite believe their eyes. This was pure, unscripted public humiliation. Lord knows what my neighbors were thinking (one of them have windows that look directly into my backyard. ha!)

Luckily I had my phone on me and recorded the whole thing. Here’s a little taste of how it all got started:

Seriously now, who’s birthday was this? Mine or Nate’s? This bitch has died and gone to heaven.

Naturally I’m capitalizing this as much as I can.

Buy the full length video here: 


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I’m in Amsterdam! I arrived around 8am. Waiting for me at the airport with coffee was my Dutch foot slave wearing sissy pink lipstick and a chastity belt. He dutifully carried my bags and had a tram card filled with money for me to use.

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After we arrived at my airbnb he bought me some groceries to keep in the kitchen then helped me fight my jet lag by giving me a walking tour through out the city. I ate raw herring for the first time, It was fucking delicious.

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Astro domina and Domina Snow joined me later that day. Snow lives in Paris now so it was an easy train ride for her, Astro happened to be traveling through Europe at the time. Thats great thing about having rich, beautiful, well traveled friends is that you often run into them in foreign countries, unplanned. We toured the red light district, saw a peep show then decided to wind down at a nearby coffee shop.

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I’m here until Monday, traveling for 3 weeks in total. Not entirely sure where I’ll go next. Denmark perhaps?

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Kevin McGahern’s America

I spent the day filming with 4 Irish men for an upcoming doco-series entitled “Kevin McGahern’s America.”


These guys are currently traveling around the US for the next 30 days, filming the lives of interesting subjects. Naturally I was among them. Other subjects include nazis, juggalos and gun-toting republicans. America! Yeah!!


They got to hang out all day, ask me questions, interrogate my editor, watch my videos, feed my chickens and pet my cats. What a lucky bunch of lads.


Since I’m such an attention whore and have all the money I could ever asked for, all it cost them was a bottle of wine and a little weed.

It comes out sometime early October on RTE2, Ireland’s national broadcaster.

Stay tuned, you pasty white guinness drinking fucks.

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My new podcast

So, I’ve jumped on the band wagon. I have a podcast.

It’s in its experimental phase. There’s no name for it yet. But the premise is pretty simple: I get to know my clients both as submissives (via session) and as people (via interview.)

The first episode is with Akbar; an Attorney by day, hypno slave by night. Check it out:

Follow me:

If you’re interested in being a part of a future episode email me:

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Kickstarter target met!

In just two weeks we have met our kickstarter target of $25,000 AUS. Fuck YES!

You all should be very proud of yourself. Well, everyone who donated really. The rest of you can fuck off forever.

So, what does a girl like me do when she gets all the money she’s asked for? Yup. That’s right, she asks for MORE.

There’s still several days left to the campaign. We now have a new stretch goal of $38,000 to be met by July 1st.

So if you haven’t already, pledge now. Or if you have pledged, make it bigger.

Feed my greed. Support my fame. If this bimbo can do it, so can you.


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Kickstarter Update


We are 1/4 of the into our campaign and well over half way towards our goal of $25,000 AUS. As I write this, 111 backers have pledged $15,454 AUS. Keep this up, and we’ll easily double our goal.

Some noteworthy pledgers include:

@cearasFRbitch – $100
@cearajunky – $250
@soleshine13 – $450
@praystoceara – $500
@fluffurnut – $500
@yourmandygirl $750
@hypnofairy – $3000

Have you pledged yet? Why the fuck not?

You can pledge as low as $15 and keep it anonymous. No excuse.


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Ruin Me Kickstarter

I haven’t spoken much about this publicly yet, I suppose now is the time to let you all in.

For the past 3 years I’ve been working closely with Australian film maker Julian Shaw on a film about my life and work. It’s been an exciting project that I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching come to fruition. It’ll be unlike anything you’ve ever seen. A mind fuck of a thriller that defies any genre. Just like me.

Much of is has been shot and much of it has been privately funded (including a sponsorship from clips4sale) But there’s still some funds left that needs to be raised. That’s where you come in: I’m calling upon all you slaves, worshippers, wankers, lurkers, admirers, haters, pay pigs, and plain ole degenerates fucks to gather what money you have and pledge to our kickstarter. Lets make this possible.

I know nothing gives you a greater satisfaction then to use your hard earned dollars to watch me rise to the top. So, you’re welcome.


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