It never fails to amaze Me how stupid people are.. I just received the most ridiculous hate mail ever! I know it must seem like a focus a lot on the negatively I receive but that’s only because I love drama. So bear with Me here… Last Christmas, as some of you all know, Monique and I got together and sold really nasty cookies on ebanned. We put all sorts of fucked up shit in there, spit, piss, floor sweepings, drain hair, semen… the list goes on. We made a video of the whole process (can be found here: clips4sale.com/studio/16312) and edited down to a teaser for the auction. Everyone who bid got a cookie and a copy of the video. Here’s a copy of the description I wrote:

“Princess Monique and I got together recently and made some holiday cookies for all you LOSERS!! We know the holidays can be a lonely time when you dont have any friends or family that care about you, so We were sweet enough to sell you some holiday cheer! You would not BELIEVE what We put in these cookies. Monique and I agree they are by far the most nastiest, disgusting cookies EVER sold on ebanned. Watch the video to see just a sample of the gross ingredients We put in there!! Buy a cookie and get the ENTIRE unedited video! We couldnt stop laughing thinking about how you dumb losers are not only going to eat these puke cookies, but buy them too!! How pathetic can you get?? HAHAHA!!”

Pretty straight foward, right? Well, earlier today I went and left positive feedback to everyone that bid and paid. Since I wasn’t about to write 12 different messages for each retard, I simply wrote “ENJOY LOSER!” on each one. Hours later, I receive this email from one of the buyers:

Ceara,
I swear that I was going to just let it go & NOT leave you the feedback you deserve on the previous”Cookies & Video” auction despite how pathetic I found the video to be. But since you seem very comfortable with making your feelings known on my feedback, I’ll return the favor & be candid on yours as well.

-D
Ebanned id………dtana

say WHAT??

goldguy007 stein: -i want to worship your ass
Ceara Lynch: yeah I bet you do loser
Ceara Lynch: too bad you’ll never get near it
goldguy007 stein: i would do anything to worsip your ass
Ceara Lynch: kill your mom
goldguy007 stein: shes already dead
Ceara Lynch: then dig up her grave
Ceara Lynch: take a picture of you kissing her rotting vagina
Ceara Lynch: send it to me
Ceara Lynch: and I’ll let you worship my ass
goldguy007 stein: ok, ill do it tomorrow
goldguy007 stein: can i pick what panties you wear when worsip your ass?
Ceara Lynch: no

Valentines day is only a couple weeks away!! I’m selling Valentines Day cards and pre-chewed candy hearts on ebanned! Be one of 35 potential lucky losers who will get that extra bit of attention from Me this year… The rest of you can go jack off with sandpaper for all I care:

ONLY $25 EACH! LONELY LOSERS BID HERE!

Spanish Retard managed to make himself useful a couple days ago and bought Me tickets to Coachella!! The thing about this loser is he supposedly can’t send money through most places so he likes to go into Domme’s bill pay accounts and pay their bills. he always brings this up and never seems to remember that Im not stupid enough to give him access to that kind of information. I can’t have him buy anything off My wishlist either because he’s a little rat that will cancel the order after he spooges. So, the trick is to find non-refundable things online for him to pay for. I dont think he realized what he was getting himself into when he bought Me these tickets either, they’re over $300 and I had just maxed out his talksugar account the day before. Theyre suppose to email the tickets to you but he kept insisting he never got the email. UNLIKELY. he was probably just stalling until he could find a way to return the tickets and pretend like his credit card got declined for the 3rd time. Too bad for him he was dumb enough to give me his ticketmaster password so I just went in and changed the email and had them sent straight to Me. Behold!

I’m so stoked! The line up is amazing this year!! Hopefully Amy Winehouse won’t be too dead to perform. I’d love to see that bitch sing before she crumbles.

I knew it was only a matter of time before steve realized what an ass he was making of himself and decide delete his entry. So I saved it for all of you just catching up to speed with the entry below. Check it

Alright, theres a bunch of retarded rumors going around this close-nit gossipy domme scene and I thought I’d clear some things up. First of all, if you dont already know what Im talking about, start here:

http://chuckliddell.livejournal.com/
(entry has since been deleted but I saved it. see above entry)

This loser wrote an anonymous comment on my journal accusing me of being an “employee” for a production company and not independent. Thus, going to Vegas during the time of the AVN awards. Let me dispute some of his astounding logic:

“just a coincedence they all came to vegas (sarcastic) all three…jan 9th to 11th…theres something called AVN “ No, in fact it was not a coincidence that We went to Vegas during this time. Why?? BECAUSE I GOTO AVN EVERY YEAR! It’s a great time to goto Vegas. Tons of people, lots of half naked girls, and the circle bar in the venetian is like a circus every night. The first time I went was 2 years ago I went with another girlfriend before I had My website and was actively milking losers for a living. Here’s a picture of Me with Ron Jeremy. I know theres no date, but note the chin length hair:

“rooms are sold out 1 year in advance all porn companys buy blocks of thousands and thousands of rooms. whats left sells for 800.00 a night (not kidding)” BULLSHIT. This loser obviously has no clue what he’s talking about. Yes, it is difficult to get a room IF you dont plan ahead. No, not a YEAR in advance, but 2 or 3 months prior. I booked Our room in October, wanna see the confirmation?

Note the daily rate of the rooms. $394 a night, not $800.

“look at her top friends. 1. is the actual company she works for!!! Number 2 is the wife of the owner she works for !!!” Hahahahahaha this is so funny. Yes, one of My “top myspace friends” owns a porno production company known as JM productions, owned by My FRIENDS Jeff Steward and his wife Sandy. Their former contract girl, Ashley Blue, was one of My favorite porn stars way back when I worked at an adult store at the tender age of 18. The first year I went to the AEE convention in vegas with My girlfriend I sought her out for an autograph and We ended up hitting it off and becoming friends. Thus, I met the couple she worked for as well. Yes, there was a time when they were pressuring Me to get into porn and work for them, but obviously it wasnt for Me. JM produces movies such as American Bukkake, gag-factor, tough love, wife mother whore, swirlies, DP virgins, irritable bowel syndrome (don’t believe Me? Here, browse there selection for yourself: http://www.jerkoffzone.com/jmcatalog/studio.php?sid=1). They have such charming slogans as, “Whores Degraded Daily” and “Relax, It’s Not your Daughter.” They produce ONLY hardcore pornography. Hardcore to the point that they were indicted on federal obscenity charges a couple years ago and just recently had the case dismissed. Take one look at My website, have a session with Me on cam; use some common fucking sense. JM productions and Princess Ceara are on completely different planets. Why We have remained friends to this day is up for you losers to ponder for yourselves I guess.

“BTW clips4sale is a huge HUGE red flag of a fake domme..i dont mean all…but those videos are done professionally by pro cinema guys and shit…these chics, not coincedently are huge on clips4sale…clips4sale was basically created by porn company’s. the photos on these chics sites are professional photos…” First of all, while all 3 of us do very well on clips4sale, I’d say Monique is the only one of us who is “huge” on there since she has been in the top 50 (sometimes up to 20) studio on there for several weeks. And good for her!! She’s hot, quick witted, and totally bitchy. Performing in videos comes very naturally to her and she is like a machine the way she spits them out each week. HOWEVER! to call hers, or ANY of Mine or Lyne’s videos “done professionally by pro cinema guys and shit,” (as it was so elegantly put) is beyond funny. Clearly this moron doesnt even have the $4 it would take to buy one of Our videos and see how amature they are. In fact, you can even find several clips where you can see one of us pushing the start button on the camera before We learned to edit things like that out. As far as Our pictures being professional, well, I’ve been accused of that before. I cant tell you how flattering that is to a Girl like Me who’s never had anything but a $250 camera and tripod to take My pictures. I guess I’m just really good at it huh?

“Amazon.com…if u know them they have a really liberal return policy…these gifts aresnt shipped to these girls either trust me..” HAHAHAHA, I just wanted to quote this for the absurdity.

Fellow Dommes and stupid losers, don’t buy into this moron. he’s so ignorant and sexist that he can’t comprehend the possibility of three dominant, talented, intelligent young women who can do things like (OMG) build websites, take decent pictures, successfully make money and afford trips to Vegas. Give Me a break.

-EDIT-

I JUST FOUND OUT WHO THIS IDIOT IS!! IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!!

This little bitch wanted to meet Us SOOOO bad. he was so full of empty jerk-off promises. But that was obviously from his first message to Me and his neglect to pay for one of My auctions on ebanned (username: sincity888). Funny he has a blackmail fetish. Careful what you wish for, “steve.” 😉

Well I’ve been back from Vegas for about a week now and in case you were wondering it was AMAZING!! I have never had so much fun in Vegas! And thats not just because I could finally drink legally there. Princess Lyne, Princess Monique and I hit it off so well we are definitely planning on meeting together more often… on you expense of course 🙂 Imagine how much easier it will be to work your shitty 40 hour a week job knowing you will be paying the expense for 3 of the most amazing, gorgeous and sadistic dommes to get together and combine all our unstoppable talents?? But I digress. How many of you miserable fucks called me in Vegas?? I had my ignore line on the whole time, I could hardly keep up with the calls. Fartboy called right as I was in the middle of the casino talking to male porn star “Frank Wank.” He had his usual enthusiastic “im-a-14-year-old-girl-talking-to-britney-spears” voice going on. I talked to him for a second when Frank Wank grabbed the phone and totally ripped him a new one! It was SO funny. He went off about what a complete low-life reject he was and then went into detail about how he wanted him to open his window and announce to the world what a stupid fag he is. Of course fartboy actually BEING the total fag that he is ate it right up! Oh fartboy, how lucky are to receive a verbal beat down from a real man who gets paid for his huge dick and ability to fuck properly???

Oh, and I suppose I should mention the reason I was talking to a porn star was that the entire hotel was CRAWLING with them since the AVN awards were going on. In fact, on the night Monique flew in we ran into this totally submissive porno chick hanging out at the circle bar wasted and bragging loudly about how many dicks she’s fucked. Lyne and I were about to vomit when instead we came up with a brilliant scheme to teach the bitch a lesson. We convinced her to come up to our room where there would be lots of cock and blow. Naturally her eyes lit up and before she knew it the drunk slut was on her knees in our hotel room kissing our feet and giving up what LITTLE money she made flipping tricks. HAHAHA!! Luckily for you jerk-off fucks we recorded the whole thing. You can buy the video off clips4sale, it’s in 3 parts, you’ll have to goto Monique’s and Lyne’s studio to get part 1 and 3: http://www.clips4sale.com/studio/16312. Theres also a video of Lyne and I talking about our very first night together in Vegas where we had some fun with a couple of nerdy fan boys.

(just before our helicopter tour across the strip!)

So, I had a plane to catch home at about 11am Sunday morning. So instead of sleeping Mo and I played craps and drank cocktails for HOURS until I eventually had to pack and goto the airport. It was so funny, the whole casino was DEAD except our table which was swarming with guys checking us out and watching our crazy drunken antics. Mo even challenged some idiot to an arm wrestling match. Guess who won?? Princess Monique fitness QUEEEEEN of course! We were pretending to be sisters and everyone totally bought it. I suppose there is a bit of an sinister resemblance there.

Anyway, thats all I have to say about that. I’ll you all with this:

Oh yeah, have fun trying to get that image out of your heads, foot-fags.

I’ll be in Vegas until Sunday. My niteflirt lines are set to Vegas mode, so feel free to call and listen to Me laugh at you while you sit at home in your lonely sweat pants. HAHAHA!! PEACE OUT BITCHES!

In case you slobs were wondering, I had an amazing time on new years. I took the train up to Seattle with some friends and went to a huge party. Lots of intoxicated people in flashy costumes. Lots of girls wearing as little as possible. It’s like new years is the new Halloween or something. There was an after party that lasted all night so I got no sleep which is just how I like to start off the new year. I met an awesome girl at there and as the sun was rising she took me to this park that had this gorgeous cityscape view of Seattle. It was perfect! I meant to have my ignore lines on because I know so many of you losers were at home doing nothing hoping to live vicariously through Me.. but I guess I just forgot about you fucks! Story of your life, right?

I cant believe how fast this month is already speeding by. In just 4 days Lyne, Monique, and Myself will be in Vegas! Have you made your contribution to our little loser sponsored get away yet?? Its never too late. Plus theres no limit to the amount of money We can gamble away!!

I had a nice little reunion with happy dresser boy today. We have a love-hate relationship; he loves Me, I hate him, and then sometimes he hates Me for it. But only for short periods of time of course until I remind him how I will always have him by his puny little balls. you SUCK happy dresser boy! I hate you and I always will. Why do you aggravate Me so? you know I’ll only drag you through the burning coals.

I got HD boy SO drunk tonight and raped him of $250. Then My man came over and took Me out to dinner. I signed off without saying goodbye. I knew he’d freak out like he always does when he thinks I’m ignoring him and left all these super whiny messages. he was trying to send another tribute but amazon was delaying it so he was especially freaking out because he thought I was mad at him. HAHA! Read:

j m: You there??
j m: You there??
j m: it is still pening, i don’t know why it isn’t completed
j m: see this is why i like paypal
j m: instant, i hate amazon
j m: wow, i can send paypal, this is still showing open, but You left anyays
j m: this is not my fault, amazon is lame, i hate this, now You left and are mad at me because amazon is retarded, this should be fine i used my debit, i have a lot of money in my checking
j m: fuck amazon!
j m: well it will go through and after it does i won’r send amazon again, You will have to find another way to pay You, it takes too long and You blame me
j m: calling amazon
j m: it is pending, i can send another way, it was not declined, i don’t know what else to do
j m: You totally bailed on me
j m: i was drunk and could spend another way, You either left or went invisible, well i called them, he said it is not my fault on the phone he doesn’t know why it hasn’t posted, thanks for leaviung tho
j m: could have at least said good bye if You were leaving, i spent like 250, man that is cold
j m: You don’t reward loyalty so You don’t get it from subs
j m: i won’t message You again, Happy New Year, You will not be someone I carry into 2008
j m: and You know i spent 150 on a domme while You disappeared, should have been around

Damn HD boy, leave it to complete douche nozzle like you to get SOOO angry over your temporary inability to lose more money to Me! Loyalty?? Give Me a break! I rape you once every two months at best. you threaten to tribute other dommes at least two or three times every time we talk. your attitude flips 180 at a moments notice. youre a inconsistent, idiotic, shit faced creep! youre not even worth of licking the dirt off My shoes! I want to show the WHOLE world what a pig I turned you into tonight. Behold, HAPPY DRESSER BOY! in all his drunkin glory! This is right after he wrote “MORON” on his forehead (God I hope you kept that on there. I want you to feel as stupid as possible tomorrow). I was trying to get him to tape his nose upward so he would have a pigface but the retard was too drunk to get it right. Oh well, laugh at his gay attempts anyway:

HAHAHA!! Dont you just hate his cheesy smile? I want to knock him right in the teeth sometimes. But boy do I love his money.. oh yeah, and here’s a fun picture for old time sake:

-EDIT-

hehe