Fun day

I drained this new loser today, dorky mcretard. We played a fun game where he sent Me a lot of money and I sent him a picture. Sometimes it was a cute picture of Me, other times it was this :

HAHAHA !! ISNT THIS SO FUNNY? He actually paid Me to view this! I raped him out of $125 until he spooged and became useless. So now I’m pissed. I know Monique has been spending his unemployment checks too so he’s been told to tell her how he leaked without permission. I’m sure she’ll deal with him appropriately.

hikingds: hi
Ceara Lynch: hi
hikingds: do you drink bottled water
Ceara Lynch: sometimes. why?
hikingds: mmmmm
hikingds: it would be cool to watch you drink it
Ceara Lynch: why?
hikingds: well it would fill you up
Ceara Lynch: what? my bladder?
hikingds: yes
Ceara Lynch: hahahaha sick freak
hikingds: blushing

This guy spent 30 minutes on my ignore line watching me on cam drink two bottles of water. Then I went into the bathroom and peed in one of the bottles and he bought it for $100. He stayed on the line all while I was in the bathroom and then when I packaged it all up.. Gross!! Whatever pissslut. I dont sell pee too often btw. I charge too much.

4 out of 5 dentists agree: youre a human toilet!

I put up a new auction today for My nasty used toothbrush. I almost threw it out but I thought it would be funnier if I watched you freaks fight over it. I let it soak for an hour in My boyfriend’s toilet, I think he might have pissed on it too. I know I did. Hahahaha. There’s already 7 bids but I want to see MORE. Dental hygiene is important, even for losers. you can consider this a favor.

Click here to bid on My two-in-one toilet-tooth brush.

Princess Monique

No fags, youre not dreaming. That is THE Mistress Monique and Princess Ceara TOGETHER! I had the utmost privilege of meeting up with her last Friday and needless today we hit it off very very well. It’s so nice to meet another Girl that measures up to My caliber. We had lunch and talked about all about our awesome lives raping the wallets of all you paypigs. A loser’s wet dream come true, right? Even better, later that night we went to the titty bar with another one of her gorgeous girlfriends and drank ourselves silly (on some loser’s tab, of course). I bet you dummies wish you called our ignore lines then, huh? I have had SO many of you phone-sluts call Me up and mention Monique that I just knew it would be in everyone’s benefit if we got put our cruel money-draining minds together. We came up with lots of fun ideas, one in particular is our niteflirt group you can check out here: http://www.niteflirt.com/grouplist/11417/GHP/1/ . It’s for all you dumb little whores on niteflirt that couldnt stay loyal to one Princess if your life depended on it. It’s a chance for you idiots to be passed around by us, Mistresses WORTHY of your money, like a bag of potato chips. There’s more than just Me and Monique in the group, so if you see more than one of us on–CALL! Beg us to tag-team your bank account. Hahahaha..!!

Monique doesnt have a website up yet so all you fags will have to send her a very HUMBLE message on myspace begging to be added on her list. Dont even bother trying to add Me… you’ll just get denied.

http://www.myspace.com/1princessmonique

Losers: america vs. europe

I’ve heard from a number of people working in the adult industry that Euro porn whores have no soul. They’re able to perform the most degrading sex acts on tape without any shame or remorse while any American whore is inevitably driven toward self-loathing and drugs. But what about the losers? American abuse-junkies who contact Me are almost always torn between their “normal life” and their losery submissive side. They make excuses for it and are constantly under this misconception that they can just mold and control Me into acting out their stupid laundry list of sub-fantasies. Selfishly sending Me emails starting with “I want…” or “I’m looking for…” like they’ve never talked to a Princess in their life. They make small payments and actually get bent out of shape when I dont give them all the attention in the world for it. IT DOESNT WORK THAT WAY YOU STUPID AMERICAN LOSERS.

Euro-losers? Fantastic. They completely accept and embrace their pathetic ways and dont try to fight it. They dont waste My time talking about how much money they can give Me because they’re smart enough to know that money in My hand is the only way to prove themselves. They dont put up a fight, play games, or waste My time (this is all generally speaking, btw). They’re also far more humble, always acknowleging how pathetic and stupid they are. American-losers will do the same, but only when their man-clits are hard and they’re deeply trapped in their loser mindset. Otherwise, they actually have a sense of worth and love to boast about what a “great sub” (oxymoron) they are and how much money I could be making from them if only I was more like the Princess they fantasize about in their tiny little brains. Retards.

Let’s take for example two dummies who’ve contacted Me in that past. They both have a blackmail fetish. One is from Sweden, the other from Alabama. Alabama loser called Me up one day and sent Me his ex-girlfriend’s email address and a picture of himself naked chained to the wall in some dungeon. Which is actually more than what most american losers do, who claim to have a blackmail fetish but then it’s like pulling teeth trying to get them to actually send Me something. Anyway, the entire phone conversation I was photoshopping a word bubble into the photo and telling him all these ideas I had to write in it before I sent it off. He loved it, spooged, and then BEGGED ME PROFUSELY NOT TO SEND IT. Which was okay in a sense, because the other half of the conversation was him sincerely begging Me for about $5 a minute, telling Me how this is “just a fantasy” and how he “needs to feel good about himself.” Eventually I took pity and told him I wouldnt send it if he paid Me $50. He did and never heard from him again.

More recently, Swedish loser sent a $75 amazon giftcard and filled out my pay-pig application before contacting Me. It took no time after that for him to politely ask if he could send Me pictures to blackmail him with.. He sent 5. In them he’s wearing nothing but a thong, putting a dildo in his ass, mouth, holding up a sign that says “i’m a slave to the beautiful Princess Ceara,” and best of all, an unedited picture of his passport. American losers into blackmail will almost always start off by saying “I’m probably going to regret this but….” But not this little Swedish-fag. He was nothing but kind, thankful, and obediant. Best of all, he’s not going anywhere now. He happily screwed himself over and now I fucking OWN him and his income.

Ah, what a life.

The dog whisperer

I was watching the dog whisperer for the first time while visiting My Mom the other day. This guy visits incompetent dog owners and teaches them how to treat their dog so they listen and dont get out of hand. He would meet these insane hyper-active, aggressive, out of control dogs and within moments have them sitting quiet and still, looking up at him with big obedient eyes like the alpha he was. It was amazing. I couldn’t help but think of Myself. men are like dogs, I know it’s a cliche but this show definitely brought that to a new level for Me. A dog owner who knows little about dogs is like a clueless Girl that ended up with a loser for a boyfriend. Both allow an animal to live chaotically in their home, leaking fluids in corners, and making their overall life more stressful and aggravating. All it takes is a little knowledge of how these lesser beings think and react and soon they’re clinging to your every word. Make them perform tricks for simple everyday necessities like food and their life suddenly becomes dependent and controlled by the you. The only difference is a trained dog is loyal to the owner for the rest of it’s life. And pay-pigs? Well, you can’t really count of them for anything, especially loyalty. I guess that’s why they’re called pigs and not dogs.

Birthday Wishlist

Hi micro-dicks. As promised I compiled My birthday wishlist so you losers can have a better idea of what to get Me this year. DONT FORGET! It’s July 22nd so you might want to start ordering now.

1. Pink Laptop Intel® Core™2 Duo T5200 Deluxe Notebook
2. 24 5seasons Jack Bauer is more man than your loser-mind can comprehend.
3. Nintendo Wii Pay so I can play
4. Flat LCD monitor V7 R19WPS 19″
5. New webcam Logitech QuickCam Ultra Vision Special Edition
6. New sneakers Reebok The Scarlett Retro Aztec size 8.5
7. Massage chair Comfort products 60-5298 four motor massage
8. Nintendo DS Lite PINK buy a game too.
9. Forever 21 gift card no less than $100, loser!
10. MONEY!! tribute tribute tribute

I’m also accepting drink tributes for those of you too worthless to buy Me something off My list. You must have a niteflirt/keen account. I’m planning on having My phone line on as well when I go out so you pathetic morons can sit at home alone and pay money to wish Me a happy birthday, HAHAHA!!

BYE ASSHOLES I HATE YOU ALL!

Sup fags?

Miss Me? It’s been a while since My last update. But as most of you probably know giving you fags an update on my life is low on my list of Princess priorities. But I have some good news, after nearly a month of having my niteflirt listings on HOLD for some stupid rule I was apparently breaking, they’re back up again! I even made a new listings especially for you losers with exceptionally poor social skills who wish so so badly that you could call and talk to Me without pissing yourself. Have you figured it out yet? AN IGNORE LINE! It’s going to be fanatastic. I’ll more than likely be saving it for when I go out with my friends so you can pay to hear the background noises of the bar I’m at. Hahahaha!!

Oh yeah, and I also made a talksugar account for you creeps who use it. There’s some sample clips of My voice in there as well. Check it all out here: http://www.princessceara.com/callme.html

Okay, onto more important matters: My birthday!! It’s coming up in less than a month and I’m going to be 21!! As you know this is a BIG deal. Not because I’m 21 (I’ve had a fake ID since I was 19), but because it’s MY birthday. I expect all you little paypigs to be workin’ your little curly tails off these next couple weeks so you can buy Me something awesome and expensive. I’ll be making a wishlist of My 10 ten most wanted gifts in the next couple days, but in the mean time you can get some ideas off My amazon wish list. Mark your calendars, losers! JULY 22!

Pictures for sale

As if you were running out of ways to surrender your money to Me, I made a bunch of pay-to-view mails via niteflirt/keen. They’re mostly panty pictures, but later if I feel like it maybe I’ll make more with pictures of My feet or pantyhose, whatever. In the meantime, this should keep you piggies occupied.

Greetings fucktards,

So, It’s Friday night and being a Princess I would normally be out doing something exciting and costly, but I decided against it tonight. I’m tired and I thought it’d be best to stay home for the evening. Turns out Friday evenings are a FANTASTIC time to drain wallets. I’ve made over $500 already..! It makese sense, really. Low-life piggies all around are coming home from their depressing jobs eager unload all that hard earned cash onto Me. I turned My phone lines on and they we’re ringing off the hook. One guy in particular spent well over $100 and called Me 5 times.. What was his name? Hahaha just kidding, it doesnt matter. He was a little bitch who stroked his man-clit at the thought of Me giving him blue balls and taking all his money. He was so pathetic I almost didnt even need to be on the phone. Whenever there was a lull in the conversation he’d start chanting “Stroke, stroke, stroke… worship Princess Ceara..!! give Her all my money..!! stroke, stroke, stroke…” it was pure comedy.

What else? Oh yeah, some loser obsessed with My feet has spent well over $300 in cam sessions just to see them…. Sad. Soon he’ll be buying Me shoes like it’s going out of style.

In other news I was recently contacted by a writer who works for More magazine, which is like the UK’s equivilant to Cosmo or Jane, and they decided to do an interview with Me! I’m super excited, this is already the second time this year I’m going to be featured in a magazine.. At first they wanted to schedule a photographer to take my picture but after seeing My exceptionally skillful photography skills they decided to use My work instead. I sent them a bunch of awesome panty pictures so I’m anxious to see which ones they decide to use. Today they asked for more pictures of Me fully clothed so it would be kind of a “before” shot. So I spent pretty much all day taking pictures of My gorgeous self… It’s a hard life, let Me tell you. Here’s one shot I took:

How many of you idiots blew your load in your pants just now? Hahahaha fuckin’ gross.

Niteflirt

I admit I’m new to niteflirt but I seem to be quite the natural at this phone abuse thing.  I’ve talked to so many characters already all pathetic and worthless in their own special ways. Teachers, police officers, accountants and married closet-fags; all paying Me obscene per minute rates to tell Me their most shameful and darkest secrets. Take this asshole for instance:

Most people assume i am some macho tough guy because i am a cop, but if they only knew the real me. i am a divorced wimp (wife left me for another guy) and i hide behind my badge while working. If you are the type that does not like authority figures or would like to take it out on a cop talk to me.

I’d post his picture to humiliate him but I don’t think he deserves quite that much attention. Plus I don’t need him uglying up this place (is that a word? Cause now it is). I’ve hated cops ever since I got pulled over for the first time and got an MIP for drinking one stupid vodka tonic. Actually, to be honest I’ve had more positive encounters with the police then bad,  but I don’t let that cloud my judgement. Stupid cops! I called him Officer Dumbfuck and he oinked for Me. It was hilarious. he’ll be calling again soon, I’m sure.

As for the rest of you retards, why havnt you called? I’m a fucking sweetheart, I promise….

 http://www.niteflirt.com/princessceara