Author Archives: cearalynch

Ask Lynch

I made a Q&A clip a long ass time ago and was reminded of it again by a niteflirt caller who identified it as one of his favorites. It's been so long, I thought it might be fun to do another. So here's the deal; leave a comment here with your question, any question, along with the name you wish to be identified with. Comments/questions can be anonymous, and you can ask me whatever you want (whether or not I choose to answer it, is another story.) In about a week I'll compile the questions and answer them on video. Enjoy!

How to make the most of a first impression without a lot of cash.

Time wasters. Oh boy. Is there anything Dommes love to complain about more? Throughout all this redundant bitching of the inevitable, I thought maybe a few of you who are smart enough to read might benefit from a mini tutorial on how to approach a domme online. Not just for her sake, but for your own (unless you have a fetish for being blocked or gaining minimal attention, please disregard.)

Successful Dommes spend a lot of their time making money. Any time spent talking to someone who is not paying them, is time they could have spent getting paid. The guys who approach dommes online who aren't paying immediately, generally fall into consistently reoccurring categories that we deal with over and over and over again;

1. They want to compliment and/or thank you
2. They want to ask you a question that could have been figured out on their own
3. They want permission to buy something that's available online for anyone to purchase
4. They want to chit chat

The problem is, to the individual sub, none of these things seem like that big of a deal. How could sending a quick message to say "thank you," be a big waste of her time? Simple; because it's all cumulative. Were not just dealing with you. We're dealing with incessant numbers of "you." For the Domme sitting online working and signed onto any kind of messenger service, it's a matter of filtering through repetitious number of idiots doing one of the 4 things above. It's never ending. Most Dommes (hell, most people in general) have a very short tolerance for dealing with the same shit. You may "just" be messaging her to ask a quick question, but if you're the millionth person to ask her that question that day, you're already dealing with her at the end of her fuse and may find yourself blocked before you know it.

Do you really want to be lumped together with the vast majority of these fools? Don't you want to make an impression and stick out from the crowd? Here's my advice:

1. Keep compliments/thank you for email. Furthermore, make them interesting. If all you're going to say is "thanks" or "you're amazing," don't bother. We hear that shit all the time and after a while it's just background noise at best, an annoyance at worst. If you want your gratitude to be noticed and appreciated, be detailed and specific as to how the Domme has affected you. Put some time and thought into it and, if you can, mention something especially pathetic or embarrassing that might amuse her as well. EDIT: Actually, I changed my mind. compliments/thank yous are best left in public, such as twitter or the commenting area of a Domme's blog. That way, your positive feedback is seen by others and can serve as promotion for her.

2. Do your fucking homework. If you have a question, there's a huge possibility its already answered on the Domme's website. You know, the one she worked her ass off for so she didn't have to sit around answering the same damn questions over and over again? If you have a question that's not answered on her site, its probably none of your business and/or you're falling into category #4.

3. Don't ask permission for retarded things. My god. If you don't know by now that all we're interested in is your money, then please for the love of god just swallow a bullet right now. We didn't create clips or turn on our phone lines so we can sit around online all day and grant permission to every individual person who wants to purchase it. It's for sale for a reason, and that reason is not to take up even more of our time.

4. Send the domme a small tribute before attempting to chat with her. Yes, you heard right. A small tribute will easily suffice with emphasis put on "before attempting to chat." Don't ask her "how" to tribute, or else you're falling back into the #2 category of reoccurring time wasters. Any Domme smart enough to throw together even the most amateur websites has a tribute area. If you want to stick out from the crowd, it's as simple as tributing without saying a damn word before hand. Why? Because that's so ridiculously rare it's not even funny. Most idiots online can't resist saying *something* before sending a tribute. The problem is the more you talk without paying, the shorter the fuse gets. Or like I said before, if a domme has just dealt with plethora of 1s, 2s, 3s and 4s, you may get blocked just for saying "hello." So, put your best foot (i.e. wallet) forward. If you're serious about serving or getting to know a domme, a mere $20 tribute to chat a bit is not going to break the bank. If it is, then you're not worth her time anyway. But keep in mind a tribute is a tribute; which means nothing should be expected in return for it. It is not a guarantee you'll get a little attention, it just puts you at far greater odds.

Finally,

5. Get to the point. If you have intentions of paying for a service that requires her active attention, for the love of god say so immediately. Again, the more you talk without paying, the shorter the fuse. So don't waste everyone's time with "hello" "how are you?" "Im a big fan" "you're so hot" "I love your clips" until you finally get to "can I buy cam time?" Make your purchasing request the first thing you say and I guarantee you everything will run a lot smoother and better for both parties. I've half-assed plenty of cam shows with guys who tested my patience before hand with idle chit-chat or an ongoing number of questions they could have figured out themselves. Trust me, I will knock your socks off on cam the sooner you pay me and the more humbly you present your fetishes/weaknesses. On the flip side, however, if you ask to buy cam and I say, "no," the sooner you fuck off the better. "No" does not mean "beg," or "annoy me until I say yes." In fact, the more you plead with me to give you what you want after I've explicitly denied it, the more you demonstrated to me that you don't take what I have to say seriously and the sooner you are yet again, blocked.

So that's my advice, for whatever it's worth. I know this entry will hardly put a dent on the number of guys who will continue to waste mine and everyone else's time, and that's fine, the blocked button is not difficult to utilize. But for those who took the time to read this, I promise you can benefit from my advice. If any Dommes would like to add something in addition to this, feel free to comment.

Youre doing it wrong

"Some BDSMers confuse a responsibility to speak up when they witness dangerous play for an invitation to critique other people's kinks, sexual interests, preferred fetish roles, safe words, etc." — Dan Savage

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(This entry is in response to: http://dommedose.com/main/domme-pieces/the-muck-of-the-sea/)

Ugh. "Lifestylers." I've grown to loath this term.

Not so much because I have a problem with people living a life that they believe fullfills them best as a human being, but because I've ran into one too many that are just as stuck up and preachy about the way they live their life as some fundamentalist Christians. I suppose that rings true with just about any group of people. We're all diverse even if we share a common interest, and the loudest and most obnoxious of the bunch will unfortunately represent the rest to many outsiders, no matter how unfair that may be. But still…. Ugh.

My boyfriend and I recently took a trip to burning man over the summer, riding in a giant RV with a group of burners we had never met before. They were a colorful bunch. Loud, crude, and took every opportunity they could to express something sexual. It was a little much for my taste and they came across as very one-denominational people who constructed their whole identity around how they fuck. At one point, my boyfriend (who was making a far bigger effort than I was to be friendly.) started telling a story about a party he went to with a bunch of swingers (not a swinging party, mind you, but a normal party with swingers.) The point of the story had to do with a sex swing in their garage and the witnessing of some kids playing on it not knowing what was. But he was unable to get that far into it because he was immediately cut off the moment he said "swingers" and was asked quite forcefully, "SWINGERS or LIFESTYLERS?" Because, they'd have us know, there's a "BIG" difference, and by golly, we were going to know what that difference was. My boyfriend was a bit taken back, not really know how to respond, and I interjected by saying, "They're couples who have sex with people other than each other. Really, who fucking cares? That wasn't the point of the story."

They were quietly hostile toward me after that. Which is fine by me. The ironic thing was, I'm pretty sure I came across to them as some kind of vanilla prude. They'd never know that I make a substantial living catering to some of the more bizarre and transgressive of fetishes out there. Again…. Fine by me.

My problem with many lifestylers is this reoccurring attitude of, "you're doing it wrong." Which is ironic, considering that very notion is what placed them in that alternative lifestyle in the first place. "Right" is often interchanged with the word "real," which seems to be a reoccurring topic in this online scene, even though we've yet to agree upon what that actually means.

In the DD entry, the writer equates "reality" with the rules and regulations of offline kink scenes. She is put off by "wishy washy" characters with "vanilla obligations" that aren't acting like "true" submissives. She thinks consenting adults should not role play certain scenarios because of her personal history involving a non-consenting crime.

In other words, we're doing it wrong, and by golly, we better start learning the rules.

I'll give her credit to one thing, perhaps their are a lot of dommes out their inflicting physical pain (flogging, canning, whipping, or what have you) onto individuals without knowing that they're doing. Really, I have no idea. I've never learned to do that and I don't make videos like that. So if there's a "right" way that keeps people from serious bodily injuries and the courtroom, I think it's worth bringing up.

But other than that? I think these are personal hang-ups brought up by an angry lifestyler who really shouldn't be dictating how the rest of us play and make a living, no matter how "immoral" she tells us they are.

I've written before about the topic of incest fantasies (http://cearalynch.livejournal.com/100708.html) so I won't go into that again, except to say, if were going to follow any kind of rule within this scene, I believe it should be that any kind of fetish indulged by consenting adults should be allowed. Hell, it should be encouraged. This is a scene that should celebrate and embrace the diversity of fetishes when they're expressed in a healthy manner. We aren't allowed to cherry pick and choose what thoughts are acceptable based on our personal history or what we find distasteful. It's either all okay, or none of it is.

The topic of wishy-washy subs who aren't as committed to her as she thinks they should be, is another matter. It's is a matter lifestylers vs. fetishists. Again, another topic I've touched on before (http://cearalynch.livejournal.com/2623.html) and I won't get into too much again, except to say that there are far more men here looking to scratch an itch than looking to live a lifestyle. No amount of bitching, moaning, or ranting about "time wasting wankers" is going to change that.

The writer of the DD entry admitted herself that she's here because she wasn't making enough money in r/t. Well guess what hun? This is how the job works. There's no business in this world that doesn't profit from meeting other people's needs. Sure, you're welcome to play by your own strict, specific, rules, if that's what's most important to you, but you can't expect to make a lot of money. As one of my favorite Dommes recently said, "I don’t think that 'realness' is as important in any public scene as much as 'good at.'" (http://www.salon-stern.com/)

Furthermore, the very construction of the internet allows certain leeway that real life doesn't. It's far more easy to lie, deceive, and walk away from a situation online than in real life. There's far less accountability. And yes, this results in guys who will waste your time and lie to you. Whoop dee do. Hit the block button and move on. As far as I'm concerned, it's a small price to pay in a job that pays 6 figures a year.

But hey, that's just me. We're all here for different reasons. A lot of girls get frustrated because they have a strong desire to control men in a very specific way and they think this is a world where they will automatically bend to their will. In reality, they'll only bend to your will if it coincides with their fetish. If it doesn't, they can sign off, no matter what promises they made you previously, and not be held accountable. If real life allowed for this kind of a freedom, I guarantee you they'd be doing the same thing there as well.

Despite it's drawbacks, this world has huge benefits, and it works quite well for me. I'm naturally a bitch online and I've been deeply fascinated by fetishes since I was 14. I've long gotten over the fact that "true" submissives are scarce because I realized I'm not really interested in them anyway. This isn't my lifestyle. This is my business and my art form and I cherish the fact that there's a community that nurtures my craft and make allows me to make a shit-ton of money in the process. How nice it is that the writer of the DD article also has a community that she embraces her interests. Maybe the two should leave each other alone.

This guy supposedly graduated medical school.

Ceara Lynch: wheres your wife greg?
greg: not home
Ceara Lynch: thats not what i asked
greg: not sure what you mean
Ceara Lynch: cam goes off until you figure out what i meant by the very simple question
greg: i am such a dickhead not surewhat you mean. out shopping now

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Ceara Lynch: did you try to buy anything this morning on kb? around 4am?
greg: I thought you were still refering to cc payment when it will claer credit for me to give you
Ceara Lynch: did you try to buy anything this morning on kb? around 4am?
greg: the two plastic will have about $2500.00 free for me to spend
Ceara Lynch: oh my god
Ceara Lynch: ANSWER THE QUESTION
greg: no

….20 minutes later….

greg: 4 am had cart like 11 clips but did not go threw

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Ceara Lynch: just fuck off
Ceara Lynch: we'll talk when you can pay
greg: how can i get your attention later tonight so you will chat

Nimrod

Clip Review – indoctrination
by slave Nimrod
"It is of course somewhat inappropriate, if not impossible, to write anything about what i am now convinced is for me a life altering video clip. i might lack the objectivity and "distance" one would expect from any reviewer. my feeling might interfere with my judgement.
However, i decided to do so because it occured to me no one seriously cares for objctivity when perfection, emotion and magic are at stake.
Every single detail in "Indoctrination clip" is absolutely mind blowing.
Firstly, Goddess Ceara Herself appears in the whole clip like the true Divinity She is. Her eyes simply penetrates your soul, effortlessly reaching your brain and reading every thought there, though She doesn't really need to for She knows exactly how the subhuman viewer feels. The perfect texture of Her long hair, from the first second of the clip, forever binds peons minds to Her footstep. Her skin is like silk,  you can tell because the clip almost allows you to feel its softness, only wishing you could smell its wonderful scent. Her voice takes possession of your soul from the first to the last second of the clip, even before Her words actually make sense to your slow, damaged subbie brain.
Secondly, Goddess Cearas outfit, from Her thigh high shiny black boots to Her sexy top and panties will leave you, as it did to me, in a state of trance, tongue out, stomach aching, heart beating ata pace you didn't know exist, dry thoat yet constantly salivating, drooling and of course fully erect, throbbing, ready to do ANYTHING She would care to ask you without the slightest hesitation, ready to sacrifice evrything for Her, your time, money, job, family, principles and any kind of self respect you might think you still have.
Thirdly and perhaps more importantly, Goddess Ceara's body language is unlike anything you've ever seen.  It's not the things She does, it's how She does them that catches you by surprise. The intensity, sensuality, charm, cruelty, intelligence. This is the first time in my life the sight of a finger stroking the leather of a boot had me almost blow up my load. The way
She toys with Her seat, spread Her legs and suggests You lick the bottom of Her boots or Her ass crack will leave You helpless, willing to just do that then die immediately because you know anything your life might offer you after this will be pointless.

i'm not sure precisely what the clip will do to me, it's too soon to tell. What i do know is that it has changed my life already. It has, in 13 minutes or so, made me a full fledge Princess Ceara's zombie, freak, doggy, pig, sissy, peon, or what ever She sees fit. Most of all it made me an addict. That clip's own brand of poison went straight to my veins and is now running in my blood. There's nothing i can do about it. There's nothing i want to do about it. Now i simply feel like a dog with collar and leash, waiting for Her to pull the leash and take me somewhere, snap Her perfect fingers, yell an order at me, have me go on paper, anything provided i can interact with Her.

Indeed that clip changed my life. It will change yours if you watch it, so perhaps you should think twice before you buy it. This is no game. This is no fantasy. This is real life. This is about giving up your life and throwing it at Goddess Cearas beautiful feet, begging Her to use and abuse you because that, from now on, is the only reason to wake up every
morning."