I don’t post much here these days (if that’s not obvious.) If you want to follow me, best do it on twitter @ceara_lynch. If I get inspired to write something more long form about the online femdom scene, I’ll do that here. But until then, I feel like I’ve exhausted most topics. Plus, who reads blogs anymore? 180 characters FTW!

oh I suppose I should say this; if you haven’t already, check out my feature film Use Me. It just came out last week. I’m extremely proud of it. It’s been 7 years in the making now. I was the actress and executive producer. http://useme.movie

Also, if you still love blogs, check out the new IWC Society blog that just launched with an article about yours truly.

In some ways, I dont have a lot of limits. I don’t get naked, I don’t do in person sessions, but I’ll talk about pretty much anything. As long as it’s consensual, as long I’m just using my words, I don’t see the harm.

Years ago, when I was a bit more reckless and gave a lot less fucks, I interacted with a 20 something year old nerd who wore diapers all day. He had one sexual experience with a woman in college who later turned out to be a lesbian. He was a nice guy. Typical scrawny beta male who wouldn’t hurt a fly. But he was obsessed with his former girlfriend. Not so much obsessed with her, but obsessed with the idea of her knowing what became of him after they broke up.

And so, through my encouragement he got in touch with her via email for the first time in several years. It started out slow. Just a simple, “Hello! Long time no see.” sort of message. She was excited to hear from him. They wrote back and forth catching up with each other. He would forward me every email. During our cam sessions he’d tell me how crazy, excited, and nervous it made him. He wanted me to push him further.

So, we decided to work on an email together. This was THE email. The one that would expose him entirely. His writing was articulate, polite, and curious. But it always ended with him in horny-mode, telling her all about his fetish and thanking her for dumping him all these years so he could be a sissy degenerate in diapers.

This went on for months. The sessions were long and tedious. He’d tweak the email in small pointless ways. Stretching out the anticipation of it all for as long as he could. Until finally, with my encouragement he sent it.

I didn’t think much of it at the time. By this point, I was just relieved to finally get it over with so he’d stop obsessing and we could talk about something else.

The following week she wrote back, and I realized what we did was really, really shitty.

“Wow. Behind all the jib, you and I had a friendship that I valued. I looked forward for the last two weeks for this email. Only to find you trying to scare and pigeon hole me. Certainly, you recognize that this email is incredibly abusive, disrespects and repulse me. What was your Daddy is trying to teach you? That women are to be hated? Would you prefer I list profanities at you, displaying my anger to further humiliate you?

Gay, lesbian, sissy lips? Really, who fucking cares. I believe in a sexual ethics. Non coercive, to treats people as ends not means. I believe in this email you treated me as a means. This is an instrument of hurt. 

Please do not contact me again.”

After reading this email, I snapped back to reality. She was absolutely right.

We aren’t bad people. We didn’t intend to hurt her. But we were using her as a means to an end without any thought to how that might make her feel. We groomed and misled her. It was a stupid, shitty thing to do, and I accept responsibility in my part in it.

Imagine what it must feel like for her to hear from an old friend. To (naturally) think he was sitting around reminiscing fondly and wanted to reach out and catch up. Imagine assuming this for months, as she dedicated time to write to him every week or so.

Then imagine that sinking feeling she must have experienced when she realized his motives were something else entirely. How much more angry and disgusted would she have felt if she knew another woman was not only in on it all, but getting paid to do so?

Yes, some violations are worse than others. I’d certainly rate this one the low end. She’s a grown woman and I doubt she was traumatized by an email. But that doesn’t matter. She didn’t ask for it. It was creepy and wrong.

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My point is this: when you target specific women to surprise with your exposure; you’re not humiliating yourself, you’re humiliating them.

You may think that making yourself vulnerable to women gives them the power. But there’s a reason flashers get arrested. Exposing your dick isn’t a hilarious surprise, it makes women feel tricked. It’s a violation.

You may think that as a sub, as someone who gets off on humiliation, you’re better than those alpha assholes who objectify women on the streets, because you’re putting women above you. Wrong. You are objectifying them just as much. You’re treating them as one-dimensional laughing-domme puppets. You’re not thinking for a moment what that woman has gone through. Maybe she has a history of sexual abuse, maybe she was molested as a kid, maybe her dad used to rape her, maybe she’s been stalked. Or maybe she trusts men entirely and you’re the first one to shatter that trust.

Knock it off.

I bring this up because recently I’ve been receiving phone calls from a guy with a fetish for public exposure. When I suggested tweeting an embarrassing photo, he wasnt interested. Instead, he wanted me to encourage him to go out in public flash random women. When I told him that was harassment,  he tried to “compromise” by suggesting I take his dick pic, find some random women and ask them if they wanted to see “the smallest wee wee in the world.”

It should go without saying, but no group of women are going to laugh if I ask them that (unless its a nervous laugh.) They’re going to look at me like I’m insane. If I actually follow through and show them a picture, they’ll be disgusted. If they later come to realize that they were used as props for some stranger to act out a sexual fantasy, they’re going to feel used. Like fools. They’re going to feel violated and angry, and rightfully so.

It doesn’t take much for women to hate men. Most men are fine, many are wonderful, but most women have had at least a couple really shitty situations with men that can make the rest of them look bad. When I first hit puberty at the age of 12, I experienced enough sexual harassment on the streets that pretty soon I was scowling and flipping off any man who so much as smiled at me.

This is why some women overreact when men, say, conduct grand romantic gestures like play they piano non-stop to win their ex back. He’s not merely pathetic and delusional, he’s synonymous with misogynistic mass murders. I don’t agree with this interpretation, but I understand emotions that led them there.

Despite what you might think, I have sympathy for you guys. I do. I believe you don’t choose what you like. If I can be blind sighted by money and violate a woman in this way, surely you can be blind sighted by your dick. But that doesn’t excuse it. Rarely do I think anyone should be ashamed for their sexual kinks, but in this case I do.

If you have a fetish for exposing yourself to strangers, you need to curb it. Find other ways. Pay me to post your image on my twitter page (over 50k followers!), buy a custom exposure clips, or pay me to show you off to my other domme friends who know the drill.

Do not involve women who are uninformed and did not agree to participate.

And ladies, if a sub asks you to help him expose himself to his ex-girlfriend, his friend’s sister, an old college friend, or that barista he’s been friendly with, just say no.

I’ve been noticing a lot of websites and online classes have been popping up lately promising to teach aspiring young women the “art” of financial domination and how to make money. I personally think those tutorials are a scam and I can sum it up for you in a simple blog post.

My credentials: I’ve been a financial dominatrix for over ten years. A have a few well-paying subs who currently pay thousands per month. Just yesterday I drained a guy (slave X) out of $30,000 in one day. I will explain how below.

Definition of financial domination: when a submissive pays a dominant money for the sheer pleasure of paying her in it of itself. i.e. no direct transaction is assumed.

The problem: as you could imagine, there’s a lot of supply for very little demand. Most people like easy money. Very few get off on giving their hard-earned dollars away.

So how does it work?

Simply put: financial dommes don’t earn money through financial domination alone.

I don’t mean they have a vanilla job (although some do, I don’t). What I mean is, they provide services to fetishists through clips, cam shows, phone lines, and selling worn items. This is not financial domination. These are business transactions. It’s work.

(Note: some people debate whether any of this is “real work.” That’s fine. But in my opinion, whenever you’re trying to earn money by spending your time doing something when you’d rather be vacationing, reading a book or hanging out with friends: that’s work.)

So, where does the financial domination come in? Let me show you a graph.

 

The Y axis represents money earned. The X axis represents time spent with a potential sub.

The bottom right hand side of the graph is the “time waster” zone. These are guys who suck up your time and energy through email, messenger or what have you and give you very little or no money.

The upper left hand side, is the financial domination or “white whale” zone. A white while is a sub who spends a lot of money and requires very little time on your part to do so. For instance, the slave X.

Slave X literally asked for nothing in return for the money he sent me. Although I interacted with him somewhat to keep the money flowing. It was incredibly easy. I simply chatted with him over kik and threw him a few pictures here and there as a reward. It’s didn’t hinder my day what so ever. I was able to eat breakfast, work out, go shopping, and shoot eight videos, all while draining him of his money.

Yes, that is fucking rad.

But it’s also fucking rare.

Make no mistake about it: if, for the past ten years, I only had the money I earned through financial domination, I’d be living in poverty.

That is why, the most important part of the graph is this line:

 

This is the customer line. The free market line. This is where time spent and money earned is fair and equitable. This is where you earn money for clips, webcam, phone lines and worn goods. This is what you should be putting your time and effort into.

The mistake most new financial dommes make is this:

They hunt for white whales.

They make a twitter account, throwing up a few pictures of their feet and saying “fuck you pay me.” Then, when the subs start flocking to them, they spend all their time interacting with them, like a slot machine in desperate search for that big pay out. Or they try to gain the attention of subs who have been known to pay other dommes.

If you hunt for white whales, you will find yourself in the time waster zone.

Time is a precious resource, don’t spend it like this.

Do not interact with a sub for more than five or ten minutes if he’s not paying you.

Do not solicit subs on social media who are known payers.

Spend your time and energy on the customer line.

This is how you get the occasional white whale, when you produce and offer services. White whales get inspired to pay dommes when they see a certain video, experience a great cam show or phone conversation, or they see a specific image on social media. Slave X started paying me when he stumbled across my clip store. If that didn’t exist, he would have gone elsewhere.

Another example: a couple years ago I wrote about selling my shit twice to someone for $8k. It was discussed at great lengths during my Joe Rogan interview. Afterward, I received an influx of emails from baby dommes (and delusional men) asking me how they could sell their shit online. As though shit is a scarce resource and there’s a lucrative untapped market that’s so plentiful Im just dying to share it with everyone.

There isn’t. I don’t sell my shit for $4k all the time. I sold it twice in a ten year period.

Although the shit buyer wanted something in exchange for his money, I’d still consider him a “white whale” because he over paid by an extraordinary amount. He could have easily bought shit from a cute, broke 19 year old for $30. The point is, he didn’t want cheap shit. He wanted my shit. He’d been watching my clips for years and came to the conclusion my shit was special and worth $8k. It was an indirect result of the decade worth of work I’d been doing. Not because shit is worth $8k.

Unfortunately, you never know what is going to inspire a white whale to come to you. If there’s a formula or science to it, I certainly haven’t discovered it. That’s why it’s important to think of the customer line as a net. The more you produce, the more services you provide, the bigger the net and the more likely you are to catch a white whale.

Best of all: the net is profitable in it of itself. You will earn far more money from your net then the occasional white whale you catch with it.

Remember: be realistic. They’re called white whales for a reason. They’re rare. They pop up once in a great while, then they often disappear for long increments of time. Take advantage of them when you see them, but don’t depend on them. Don’t assume they’ll be a regular paying sub. I’ve known Slave X for a while now. I’ve gone years without hearing from him. Yesterday he told me he wanted to adopt my $1,500 mortgage bill and be a devoted slave, I’m not holding my breath on that promise. I’m going back to work.

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Finally, a last bit of advice: I know it’s hard when you’re first starting out. It’s a strange world. What the hell are all these fetishes? What do you say to guys? How do you “dominate them?”

I get it. I was there. The best way to learn how to work these guys is by talking to them. So, start with phone lines. Guys love to tell women of no consequence their sexual fantasies. You can do that by talking to them on messenger or email, but with phone lines you can earn money while learning.

This is how I learned, you can too. It’s a tool I use to this day. I have produced over 1500 clips. I shoot four new ones a week. As you can imagine, it gets hard to come up with a fresh spin on ideas. Whenever I’m feeling stuck, I do cam and phone and formulate new ideas from the guys I get paid to talk to. That’s the beauty of this business: all the revenue streams feed off of each other. It’s like an evolving ecosystem of perversion.

Right now, IWC is offering an 80% commission rate for their new phone platform they’re launching if you sign up in March. Get on it. This is the highest rate in the industry and IWC is a fantastic company. Join here.

Good luck, ladies.

 

I’ve been getting a lot of people asking me when Ruin Me comes out. Short answer: probably 2018.

There’s been a some misconception since our kickstarter back in June that we were finished filming and needed funding for post production. I get that. After all, the trailer looks so damn perfect. But that wasn’t the case. Some of it was filmed, but much of it wasn’t. Fortunately due to the success of the campaign (and Julian finally moving permanently to the US) we’ve gained a lot of momentum. To this date, I can say were about 90% done with shooting and will be transitioning into post production in the next couple months.

___

We just spent a week in Vegas, where we shot the last of the bigger scenes. I’ve been at least 50 times to this god-awful desert but this was the first time I hopped on a helicopter tour to the grand canyon. Julian, with his boner for everything all-american had his camera by his side the whole time.

____

We celebrated by hosting a big fetish party on Thursday night (sponsored by kinkbomb) We opted to avoid the Vegas club scene and rented out a big sleazy house owned by a couple of lifestyle swingers. It was fully equipped with all things debaucherous; sex swings, BDSM furniture, stripper pole, and my personal favorite, “the fucking Harley” which was a Sybian vibrating dildo attached to a motorcycle.

___

After a bit of mood lighting the house could almost pass as classy. The turn out was great. Roughly 60 people total. All the women adorned fancy fetish wear and masks, and most of the men were in collars. There was dancing, booze, girl on girl wrestling, and naked Momo; our Sushi girl. What a babe.

Oh, and there was pizza. I ordered pizza. I thought this would be the most civilized and normal part of the night. But naturally with this crowd all I saw were women chewing it up and spitting it back into some dudes mouth.

Anyway, I’m home now. I’ll be home for a while. Find me on cam. Buy my used socks. Whatever you weirdos are into. I’ll be extra greedy the next coming months.

 

Yesterday I received these two letters in a plastic envelope:

I got a C- average for the two years of French I took in high school, so needless to say I needed a little help with the translation. I asked my friend in Paris to help me out.

__

So there you have it. Some where in France, a serious investigation is underway. Some pervert is gonna lose his job. This delights me to no end.

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In other news, I recently filmed a custom clip for a guy who was obsessed with the name “McCallister.”At first he wanted me to film a scenario where I’m trying to escape a kidnapper and have it show me running up the stairs as the predator/camera man grabs me by the leg and I scream and struggle. I told him that wasn’t going to happen. So instead he asked for a generic bitchy boot worship clip where I say my name is “Ceara McCallister.” I told him the description was fine but that I wasn’t going to use a that dumb name. We made a compromise where I agreed to throw in such lines as “I’m in this big McCallister house all by myself,” along with various other lines emphasizing the size of the house and how alone I am in it.

I was scratching my head wondering what his obsession was with this name. Surely someone he knew in his past had the name and really left an impression on him. Or maybe “McCallister” refers to a special kind of house? I decided to google image search the name. Here’s what I got:

Yes. Of course. A home alone fetish. I swear to god you weirdos never cease to amaze me.

[Video can be found here: http://clips4sale.com/studio/16312/16865866]

I arrived in Dublin 4 days ago. A long time follower of mine offered to fly me out and pay for my accommodations in exchange for a little social time (dinner and drinks.) I don’t normally meet fans in person, but I made an exception in this case because the guy was vouched for by a close friend in the industry and I had never been to Dublin before. It was also an excuse to have a little weekend romp with one of my european lovers.

I arrived in Dublin sick. I spent last weekend in Vegas, giving my immune system a good beating. I spent all week trying to recover and was feeling mostly better but the plane ride out here set me back again. So I’ve mostly been taking it easy so far.

By sheer coincidence, the Irish Documentary I filmed earlier this Summer, “Kevin McGahern’s America” was aired the day after I arrived. I did a local morning radio interview with Kevin on Monday to promote it. You can listen to it here:

Later that night I was invited over to the producers house to watch it with his family.I was so touched by their hospitality. This nice wholesome Irish family taking me in, feeding me snacks and introducing me to their baby as we watched a segment about how I abuse men on the internet for a living. They were so lovely.

The segment turned out very well. Im always a bit nervous how I’ll be portrayed in these sorts of things, but I think they did a great job keeping an objective point of view. Unfortunately it’s difficult to watch if you’re not in Ireland. It aired on RTE2, but I think you can also watch it on the RTE player online if you pay for it.

I traveled to the city center one Tuesday to buy some new lingerie, then spent most of my time in the hotel room filming clips. It was a great room to film out of. Lots of natural light and modern decor. Now that the work portion of my trip is over, I’ve moved to a more central location to explore the city and bang some fat european dick.

I love my life.

I am currently in search of beta readers for an extensive writing project I’m working on related to fetish and femdom. I am looking for people who can review my drafts and give me honest, thoughtful, constructive feedback in a timely manner on how to make it better. Discretion is important.

If you would like to be considered, please email the following information to contact@cearalynch.com with the subject “Beta reader application”

1. Name
2. Are you a writer? Please show me examples of your work.
3. Do you have any experience in editing other people’s writing? If so, please describe.
4. Why do you want to help?

It’s official. Were shooting this beast.

At least felt more official on Thursday, when there was a full film crew at my house; a cinematographer, sound mixer, production assistant, make up artist and stylist. Plus a table with coffee and pop tarts. This is the real deal.

Our cinematographer is a 2 time beard and mustache world champion, by the way. Isn’t it amazing? So soft and majestic. Hugging him is like diving into a pile of goose feathers.

The first two days went great, despite Julian’s prima donna attitude on set. I swear this bitch requires more hair and make up prep than I do…

“Most of us will get turned on at night by the very same things that we will demonstrate against during the day. The erotic mind is not very politically correct.” – Esther Perel

I received a clip request from a guy recently who wanted me to pretend he’s a little baby. After I gave him what will be his last diaper change, he wanted me to cover him in Vaseline, throw him in a back trash bag, tie it up, take it to the curb, and then laugh sadistically as the garbage man crushes his tiny body and skull in a garbage compactor.

I agreed to do the clip, took the nice mans money, filmed it and put it up for sale last week. As a result, exactly zero people accused me of infanticide.

I’ve acted out a lot of dark roles over the years. Over 1500 clips, many of which touched on topics such as rape, incest, extortion, castration, infidelity, murder and suicide. I’ve degraded men for their body, their age, their genital size, their mental illness, their religion and their sexuality. I’ve made clips that could be deemed homophobic, transphobic and pretty much all of them are sexist. I’ve told guys to murder their parents, to pimp out their wife and kids, to go bankrupt and consume shit until they die.

I’ve also shot exactly 3 clips on racial humiliation (RH). Each we’re a paid custom from a man of their respective race.

Just these 3 clips in particular, and not any others, have been caused an uproar a couple months back. It seems RH is a no go zone. The taboo of taboos. Everything else can be written off as role-play. But RH, for some reason, is the one special kink that can’t be acted out. If you do it, you are a racist. Is that fair?

Fantasies are not chosen. Our brains make them up without our permission. Sexuality is a force of Mother Nature, and Mother Nature doesn’t care who you are, what you look like, or what you find offensive.

I didn’t always do RH. But one day I received a phone call from a black guy who wanted me to. I did so, reluctantly. The words felt awkward coming from my mouth. I was wincing the entire conversation. But he encouraged me along the way and by the end of it all, he was grateful. Before he hung up, he breathed a sigh of relief and said,

“Thank you so much. It’s so hard to find someone willing to go there.”

There’s a world of difference between using words to hurt people and using words to make them cum. Intent matters. Fetishes often take our biggest insecurities, fears, and rage, recycles them in our brain and pushes them out into a big, blissful, climax. That’s pretty cool if you ask me.

If equality is the goal, we can’t say that RH is some how uniquely different from any other taboo kink involving consenting adults. It should be treated the same.

You don’t have to like it, you don’t have to participate in it. But shouting at producers who create it and trying to censor it from adults who enjoy it only creates resentment, not understanding.

I recently had a really nice conversation with Seth, aka @IngloriousBAD who is a self proclaimed feminist, social justice warrior and movie buff, who happens to have a fetish for racial humiliation (among other things.) You can listen to it here: